DATE: 11/09/2007 12:44:50 / MOOD: bored

One day at work I received a call from my wife who was at home and after the usual chit chat she revealed to me that she was working on a jigsaw puzzle and that it was a particularly hard one and asked if I would I help when I arrive home from work. I said "sure" and asked her what it was a picture of. "I'm pretty sure it's a tiger." she replied and that was the end of our conversation. Upon arriving home from work and receiving the usual pleasantries I asked her where the puzzle was set up. "in the kitchen" she replied "Why dont you go have a look dear." she says. When I entered the kitchen and looked upon the dinette table I immediately spun around and walked back into the living room to address my wife. "I don't think I'll be able to solve your puzzle luv" I said "Now why dont I make you a nice cup of your favorite tea and then I'll help you put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box."

View Entry

DATE: 09/12/2007 15:42:10 / MOOD: horny

Two men from Afghanistan move to the U.S. with their families at the same time.

They make a bet with each other on which one can become more "Americanized" in the space of one year.

When the year is up they meet at the predetermined time and location.

After exchanging the customary pleasantries the first Afghani says to his friend, "My son is playing baseball, I just had breakfast at McDonalds and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud Light before the big game, what could be more American than that?"

The second Afghani looks at his friend and simply replies "Fuck you towel head!"

View Entry

DATE: 09/07/2007 03:22:17 / MOOD: angry

Steve posted an interesting thread the other day and it got me thinking. The thread itself was regarding his disdain for one of these pseudo/faux so-called "punk" bands that seem to be springing up daily like weeds. Now I was O.K. with bands like Alkaline Trio and Dashboard Confessional and even Saves the Day when this emo/screamo/whatever-you-wanna-call-it genre first came into being but some of the newer ones who I won't even accredit by mentioning are quite ridiculous. On this thread I made a comparison of these bands vs. the "hair bands" of the late 80s, early 90s and how I felt that both were products of jumping on a bandwagon driven not by talent or originality but by a pre-packaged image and a giant marketing conglomerate. If you look at the eventual decline and death of the hair band from a historical perspective you can attribute its demise to two basic factors: One would be oversaturation of the market, thereby diluting the talent pool to the point of one lame band looking and sounding just like the next without an ounce of creativity or contrast. The second factor would be a certain Mr. Kurt Cobain. Now I don't want to say Kurt single-handedly killed off the hair band genre, he had some help from bands like Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam and the like but he was definitely the one who spearheaded the charge. Kids were just sick of seeing the same mascara wearing, overly theatrical, grown men who looked like women and who's most thought provoking lyrics involved banging 'ol Bobby Sue in the back of their fathers Chevrolet. Nirvana and the bands of that time period provided a long anticipated and needed change in the music world, an "alternative" if you will. In my opinion the passing of the hair band era was a good thing, never much cared for it myself however the sad part was that there were a number of bands, mostly the original ones that coined the phrase, who were actually quite good, both in the technical aspect and the originality factor, unfortunately this mattered not as they all went down in the same ship together. Why the history lesson you ask?, here's the scary part, I've been noticing a direct correlation between what's happening in the current music industry trends vs. the cause and effect of the hair bands ultimate undoing. Here's just a few startling similarities. Both genres placed fashion and image ahead of substance, both genres target market demographics are mostly teen and pre-teen females, both genres are coming in to being riding the coat tails of well established and respected predecessors and most importantly both genres create music using only one inspiration as their guide, WHAT WILL SELL.  I know we all live in a capitalistic society and I can somewhat appreciate the albeit residual effect that some of these bands have had on the overall scene and music that I personally listen to. These bands translate to dollars, dollars record companies can spend searching out and signing quality bands, dollars promoters can spend making it financially viable for some of the legends of punk rock to reform and go back out on tour (just in the space of a few weeks I'll be able to see the Subhumans, the Vibrators and Youth Brigade). Some would say that's a beautiful thing, but at what price? I'll use the anaolgy of a resevoir being contained by a dam, the more water you add to the lake thereby increasing its volume, the more pressure put on the device constraining it. Continue to add even more water and there will be an eventual and most certain failure of the dam, the resevoir and the surrounding areas. My greatest fear is that if we as consumers continue to put up with all the mediocrity from these no-talent ass clowns a new-era Nirvana will emerge and we will awake one morning to the sound of a giant "POP" which will be the sound of the youth of this country pulling their heads from their asses to be followed by in unison this question, "What the fuck have I been listening to?"

View Entry

DATE: 08/31/2007 03:19:44 / MOOD: disappointed

It is with heavy regret that I report Hilly Kristal has passed away of lung cancer at the age of 75. For those of you that don't recognize the name, Hilly was the owner/operator of the infamous CBGB nightclub and widely seen as one of the father figures of the American punk rock scene. For nearly 33 years his club was the incubator for generations of New York punk rock bands including the Ramones, the Dead Boys, Agnostic Front, Madball, H2O, and the list goes on. Many icons of the music industry got their start in that dark, seedy little club at the corner of Bleeker and Bowery such as Blondie, Pattie Smith, the Talking Heads and the Velvet Underground. Performing within its dank, flyer-encrusted walls was something musicians would brag about and they even had a saying - "once you play CBGBs you know you've arrived". CBGBs has  served as a mecca for east coast punk from 1973 until last October when it was forced to close due to a longstanding rent dispute Hilly had with the landowners. I flew to New York on business last October, knowing the club was to close soon but unsure of the exact date  -  I was 2 days late.  I remember the doors being open early in the morning on the day I arrived and employees were selling off the last remaining souvenirs, T-shirts, shot glasses, ect. There were 20 or so people milling about the front sidewalk area taking pictures and whatnot, in an almost silent vigil for a glorious period in their life that had come to pass. As I started to recollect all the shows and good times spent with friends at this historic venue an uncontrolable feeling of loss seemed to come over me. They allowed me to walk in for one last look around and as I climbed onto an empty stage where once stood the likes of Joey Ramone, Henry Rollins, Roger Miret, Duane Peters and virtually every musician I looked up to my heart broke. Now almost a year later, much like a husband who can't seem to get over the loss of his wife who's died before him, Hilly Kristal joins his famous club in the anals of punk rock history and my heart is broken once more.    God rest your soul Hilly  -  you will be missed.

View Entry

DATE: 08/06/2007 04:41:20 / MOOD: angry

In this day and age we all experience a certain amount of uncertainty. An uneasiness if you will, from reports of steampipes bursting in downtown New York to the most recent tragedy in Minneapolis, unfortunately  the first thing that enters our mind is Terrorism. So you can imagine my dismay when trying to log in this morning and finding my account no longer existed. "Bastard!" I exclaimed "It must be that damned Bin Laden" The feeling of vulnerability was overwhelming. My younger brother who also has an account happened to be in the room,(he's a big time moocher and I cant shake him) and I was curious to see if this downright affront was relegated to me or a somewhat wider target, so I say " Bruva, come have a go at logging onto your PR.COM page" Imagine my horror when we realized that they had got to him as well. At this point my survival instincts took over and I knew the most important thing was to remain calm and not panic. I flipped on the telly to see if the Emergency Broadcasting System might be trying to send us some vital information - no such luck. I checked the cable news channels, surely an event of this magnitude would be all over CNN and the like but all I could find was some wanker blathering on and on about Barry Bonds and steroids and blah, blah, blah. I found myself shouting at him "Good God Man!!, Dont you know whats going on!! PunkRockers.com is under attack!!"  I was so unnerved by this as was my brother that we found the need to abstain from going to work and instead stay home and calm ourselves with some liquid refreshment. About half a bottle of Jamesons and 20 or so Guinness later I bolted upright from a semi-conscious state with the realization that if they could get to me and my bro they could get to any number of the friends I've been conversing with over the past few months. Dreadful and grief stricken I ran to the computer. Unfortunately in my drunken haze I tripped over my cat Booger and smashed my knee on the coffee table - add both my table and Booger to the list of casualties as well as my bloody knee. As I perused the "Top Punks" section my heart sank in my chest. No CodeBlue Carry, no Chishire Bane, no Dusty Lee and on and on. They had got to them all. Over half of my friends have seemed to fall prey to an insidious plot that had to be the work of not only Al Qaeda but Osama himself . Then I began to consider that an attack this large and venous quite possibly had some help from the inside. Was there a small group of islamo-fascists living among us just waiting for the day they could rain down all the fury of Allah in the form of a cyber-jihad? Quite possibly yes. Upon further reflection I asked myself - did a bunch of toothless, bearded, goat herding cave dwellers have the savy and sophistication to pull off such a daring and audacious attack - I dont think so. Then it hit me, it hit me with such blinding speed and clarity,  - The U.S. GOVERNMENT!  Yeah, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. Punkrockers.com is a place where open-minded free thinkers can get together to talk about anarchy and descent and civil disobedience - all that good anti-government bullshit - IT HAD TO HAVE BEEN BUSH! Hell, one member even has an avatar with his head in a bloody NOOSE! I can see that coked up hillbilly now, proclaiming in the middle of a cabinet meeting "I wont rest until we get those @#$%& punk rockers!!" Spit flyin' out of that crooked, little smile he's got. Well thats only one theory. This whole experience has left me with a few unescapable facts: I'm drunk, my cats mad at me, my knee hurts and I miss my friends  -  I hope they come back.

View Entry

DATE: 08/01/2007 02:02:25 / MOOD: don't know

Some of you asked  - so here it is. Cheers

View Entry