Again i don't get people. AHH! I broke up with a girl like fukin 6 months ago cuz it wasn't workin out at all. So we both agreed even tho she didn't expect it at the time. But we kept hanging out being friends and all and workin on shit together to maybe work our shit out. Yea during that whole fukin period, which lasted like 1 month if that, I started noticing her acting more needy and selfish. So I fukin told her that shit and backed off completely from trying to get back together. And then she just got more and more pushy and shit and I fukin hated it, so I told her that I don't wanna even see her period anymore cuz of this shit. I seriously didn't trust her anymore. And now I get random ass fukin msgs from her saying hi and lets be friends and all so I accepted her lil friend invite on myspace just to delete it like 3 days later. But that was my intention just so she'd get the hint AGAIN! And that only made her talk even more like her saying shit like I thought you were gonna be my friend and I was deeply sad that you deleted me off of your friends. Reading that shit I thought that she'd actually got the hint and would just fukin quit all together. Well I was fukin wrong. I now just get random ass fukin msgs from her at random ass times and never consistant. Always like a month away from each msg. WTF!?!?! Is she still that wanting/needing me that she keeps my on her list to talk to even tho I've countless times rejected her again and again and again. (Yes there was more in the story that i left out.) But I guess rejection and NOT talking to her just seems to make her want to talk and all this BS! AH! So fukin annoying. I'm soo sick of it. Oh ya to top it off. She even said that if I delete her from the friends (this would be the 2nd or 3rd time) that she would just quit all together. DAMN I WAS A FOOL FOR BELIEVING HER! FUK! I Fukin feel like she's stalking me or sumthing cuz we don't live too far away. Yet another down side to this all. I'm glad I'm moving away up to Sac in like 4-5 months. Put more distance between us. But ya. WTF do people do this stupid ass shit? What goes through their brains, if anything does? Don't they realize that it just irritates the other person and make them want to just fukin get away even more? I just don't understand sum people. Sometimes it's like why am I here? Do I really have to deal with this all the time? Just makes no sense at all. Was this my purpose here on earth to get all this BS in life? Fukin sux at times. Oh well, 1 plus to Sept is my Megadeth concert. That's about it. 

I honestly don't understand some people these days. Like WTF is wrong with them. First of all at work, we ask people if they'd like to get a discount card for FREE if they don't already have 1 and it saves them quite a bit of money. So a this person thinks about it and says he'd rather wait for another time (like most people say), even tho he can save something like 6 dollars off of 1 item alone. Then after the fukin transaction he changes his mind and gets the card. Then comes back in and wants to know why he didn't save money for getting the card. LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!! I told him that he could only get the discount if he got the card during or before he bought the item not afterwards. And he still was mad about it all, and finally he just stormed out. Stupid ass... Then some "friend" (I put that in quotes cuz i've only hung out with her like 6 times and barely know her) got some random impressions that i like her. Even though I haven't seen her or talked to her on anything for like weeks. And randomly sent me some message on AIM that she was confused on how I felt about her. WTF?!?!?! I haven't said shit to her in weeks. How the fuck can u get a wrong, or simply confusing impression that I may like her. Makes no fukin sense to me at all. I just don't get how not saying anything for weeks makes me like somebody. Does anybody have an answer for that? Cuz I'd sure as hell would like to know it.

 

Well that's it for now. Just thought I'd share that to everyone. Even if you read it or not. Plus I'm fukin bored too.

 

But ya WOW...

 

Thats all i can say about people...

 

Crazy...

Well it's almost my time to age another year. YA! not really. Not much has happened. I wish that I did a little bit more this year. But my new year will start off with a show on Sept. 11..... Thats a good start for me. Something productive. Gets me started in a better direction. Maybe my year will be better too. This year just fuked me over constantly. Kinda wish i could skip this year all together. I hated it soo much. Too much damn drama. GIR! Well hope everyone is all having more fun than me.

 

 

Latz! 

Fuk I wish I was older.

Now because I'm too damn young I can't go see Sham 69 for the first time.

How fukin lame is that..

I hate 21+ over venues.

They ruin quite a bit of my enjoyment for a nite or 2.

FUK!

 Well.....

 

Now I may never see em live. What a shame..

I really wanted to see em too.

Can't wait till I'm 21.....

Can go to whatever I want to....

Damn being younger sux at times.

When cold northwind blows

I don't want to share my life

No, you cannot reach my love

I hear your lullaby, ah, that sweet melody

You try to dazzle me with your beauty

I feel your loving embrace

I don't want to share my life

(The time you spend with me

No, you cannot reach my love

(Dark desire dressed in black

No, you can't reach my love

Do it, do it end your life

It's not so much the pain It's more the actual knife Pretending the picture is perfect, I cut myself to sleep I close my eyes for a second And meet a fragile soul I scream to hide that I'm lonely, The echo calls my name

If I ever... if I never... Make me understand the thought whatever Make me see... make me be... Make me understand you're there for me

Take this life I'm right here Stay a while and breathe me in

Take this life I'm right here Stay a while and breathe me in

The water drops Just beg to hit me Why now? Haven't rained for days No time to play hide and seek I call upon you to take me on Break me down to pieces Put me back, Do it right this time Struggling to fill this empty stream Burn my efforts in the end it means NOTHING

If I ever... if I never... Make me understand the thought whatever Make me see... make me be... Make me understand you're there for me

Take this life I'm right here Stay a while and breathe me in

Take this life I'm right here Stay a while and breathe me in

These thoughts burn a hole in my heart These thoughts will keep me feeling

These thoughts burn a hole in my heart These thoughts will keep me feeling

If I ever... if I never... Make me understand the thought whatever Make me see... make me be... Make me understand you're there for me

Take this life I'm right here Stay a while and breathe me in

Take this life I'm right here Stay a while and breathe me in

Finally after over 26 fukin hours i got to sleep and i slept forever.......

It was soooo nice.

Too fukin bad i have a full work day tomorrow. FUK!

But it's payday. =^_^=

So it's all good......

NITE PEEPS! 

Depression strikes again... Nothing lies within The emptiness of my soul - Simply a bottomless hole. Depression strikes again... Only evil thoughts within: Hatred and lust for those Who wear the skimpy clothes! Depression strikes again... Creeping beneath my skin Like a banquet held for earthworms - Yet I don't even squirm Depression strikes again... Loud music is my friend: Relief can only be found In the deep rocking sound.

Today i was waken abruptly by the fukin Secret Service.

Have now lost sooooo much fukin shit.

We have 1 car to my family and that would be mine.

HOW THE FUCK ARE WE ALL GETTING TO OUR JOBS!!!

So much has happened today.

I'm in the worst place i've ever been before, and I want out now.

I don't how i'm gettin thru this, but sumhow i will.

Our pride and possessions have been seized.

Thank God we still have our house.

Im soooo tired and happy at the same time.

I've had about 4 hrs of sleep today, but it was all worth it,

cuz i got my fukin window in my car fixed finally after like a yr of it being broken.

Im  so stoked now. I GET TA USE MY FUKIN WINDOW NOW!!

Been so damn long. WHOO-HOO =^_^=