In this day and age we all experience a certain amount of uncertainty. An uneasiness if you will, from reports of steampipes bursting in downtown New York to the most recent tragedy in Minneapolis, unfortunately  the first thing that enters our mind is Terrorism. So you can imagine my dismay when trying to log in this morning and finding my account no longer existed. "Bastard!" I exclaimed "It must be that damned Bin Laden" The feeling of vulnerability was overwhelming. My younger brother who also has an account happened to be in the room,(he's a big time moocher and I cant shake him) and I was curious to see if this downright affront was relegated to me or a somewhat wider target, so I say " Bruva, come have a go at logging onto your PR.COM page" Imagine my horror when we realized that they had got to him as well. At this point my survival instincts took over and I knew the most important thing was to remain calm and not panic. I flipped on the telly to see if the Emergency Broadcasting System might be trying to send us some vital information - no such luck. I checked the cable news channels, surely an event of this magnitude would be all over CNN and the like but all I could find was some wanker blathering on and on about Barry Bonds and steroids and blah, blah, blah. I found myself shouting at him "Good God Man!!, Dont you know whats going on!! PunkRockers.com is under attack!!"  I was so unnerved by this as was my brother that we found the need to abstain from going to work and instead stay home and calm ourselves with some liquid refreshment. About half a bottle of Jamesons and 20 or so Guinness later I bolted upright from a semi-conscious state with the realization that if they could get to me and my bro they could get to any number of the friends I've been conversing with over the past few months. Dreadful and grief stricken I ran to the computer. Unfortunately in my drunken haze I tripped over my cat Booger and smashed my knee on the coffee table - add both my table and Booger to the list of casualties as well as my bloody knee. As I perused the "Top Punks" section my heart sank in my chest. No CodeBlue Carry, no Chishire Bane, no Dusty Lee and on and on. They had got to them all. Over half of my friends have seemed to fall prey to an insidious plot that had to be the work of not only Al Qaeda but Osama himself . Then I began to consider that an attack this large and venous quite possibly had some help from the inside. Was there a small group of islamo-fascists living among us just waiting for the day they could rain down all the fury of Allah in the form of a cyber-jihad? Quite possibly yes. Upon further reflection I asked myself - did a bunch of toothless, bearded, goat herding cave dwellers have the savy and sophistication to pull off such a daring and audacious attack - I dont think so. Then it hit me, it hit me with such blinding speed and clarity,  - The U.S. GOVERNMENT!  Yeah, it makes perfect sense when you think about it. Punkrockers.com is a place where open-minded free thinkers can get together to talk about anarchy and descent and civil disobedience - all that good anti-government bullshit - IT HAD TO HAVE BEEN BUSH! Hell, one member even has an avatar with his head in a bloody NOOSE! I can see that coked up hillbilly now, proclaiming in the middle of a cabinet meeting "I wont rest until we get those @#$%& punk rockers!!" Spit flyin' out of that crooked, little smile he's got. Well thats only one theory. This whole experience has left me with a few unescapable facts: I'm drunk, my cats mad at me, my knee hurts and I miss my friends  -  I hope they come back.

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