and taken to Watertown, South Dakota. There's nothing to do there and I'm gonna have to meet and talk to 5,000 of my wife's fuckin' relatives that I don't want to meet or talk to. Help!!!! This is the kind of place that has a billboard as you enter town that says, "Jesus is coming. Are you prepared?"

And I'm like, "Well he didn't even friggin' call. WTF. Now I gotta make up the guest room, make sure we have enough wine and bread. Goddammit, Jesus. Would it kill you to send an email? Send a txt msg?"

The only good thing is that there's a small contingent of her relatives who like to drink and are actually fun to hang with, so I usually just hang out with them.

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