Well here it is, at the risk of rising ire and contraversy here I go.  Got your pencils sharpened for the hate mail?  Now read on....

1) Britney Simpson/Jessica Spears

Oh dear, oh dear, somebody must have traumatised these people and told them they were very plain little girls, 'cos gosh aren't they trying hard now?  What these wanna-be soft porn muppets have to do with music I don't know!  Hey girls, how about you go back and do Feminism 101, maybe learn an instrument or do something interesting and then come back when you've got something real to say.  In the meantime please don't unlease yet another designer perfume on us!

2.  Gangsta Rap and Booty Girls

It's always interesting to watch people with pre-historic attitudes at play.  Man do I hate these videos.  As Pete Townshend once famously said, If he'd never done music, he'd never have gotten laid.  I'm betting it's the same for most of these sour-looking dudes. Guys, join the 21st century, drop the sad attitude and treat women as people.  Hey, you might actually enjoy it!

3.  Aussie Rap

OK, I'm prejudiced.  I hate rap in any guise.  Oops, somebody forgot a tune or any melody.  But please, rap's bad enough in American English!  Rap with an Aussie accent has me cringing all over.  Please revisit what Aussie music is actually good at.  Rock and roll and cutting edge alternative!

4.  Boy Bands

What this has to do with rock music I don't know.  My school choir kicked more ass!

5.  Anything "Idol"

As PT Barnum said (... I'm quoting a lot..) there's a sucker born every minute.  How anybody over the age of four can swallow this unashamedly calculated dross keeps me awake at night!  Oh wow, the winners are appearing at a shopping mall near you.  Gosh, aren't they real stars!

6.  One of the biggest entertainment mistakes in my life was to agree to see Cats.  I spent the whole night looking at the set - which was a ton more interesting than the mincing action on the stage.  This guy could bore for Britain.  I don't know how a person who can't pen one hummable tune can be known as the master of the modern musical.  And, he's a close friend of Margaret Thatcher's.  Need I say more.

7.  Folk music. 

Twee arch melodies. Embarassing lyrics.  No sense of humor.  Please hey.noony-nonny out of my life now! Embodied by a limp-haired doe eyed creature clutching an acoustic guitar and looking soulfull and meaningful.  Pass the sick bucket please!

8.  Divas

Celine, Whitney etc. Die please!

9.  Modern R 'n' B

It's an insult to those dynamic, vital, earthy 50s and 60s exponents of the "real" R n B to borrow the name for this limp wristed genre.  How come so many people like such boring music?

10.  Christian Rock

Some things in life are just wrong.  This is one of them.

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