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optomist
04/13/2008 15:38:47 / Stoned
I need more responsibility in my life. I need to not take things for granted. I need motivation.I an moving in with room mates, because I think if i am constantly surrounded by people i will feel less of a need to party.I am going to try to work my way into bartending.this way, i can pay my rent and pay for j sarge.then transfer to vcu for graphic design.fulfill my dream of being a graphic designer and actually having a skill.Probably do just freelance though.I never want to be rich.Rich
people seem boring, I'd rather chill on a rock at the river with good
friends and a pack of PBR than attend a social gathering with expensive
wine and fake people.I just want to be happy, and I finally realize
that I don't need my parents to pay my tuition, and if they dont then I
will be more motivated to finish a class that i pay for.I mess
around with html in my spare time, and i have always thought it would
be cool to do graphic design, but my parents didnt want me doing
art....I spent so long trying to impress them. I spent so long trying
to impress everyone, and when I don't try to impress anyone, that's
when i learn who my real friends are.I am focused on my goal, not necessarily the means to get there. It's the law of attraction. I will be a graphic designer.I
am also working on building strong, real friendships rather than having
a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think that right now, I need to focus on
where I am going rather than get caught up with someone else's issues.That being said, I may not be looking, but I am not blind.If
i could find someone who can respect my space, and understand that i am
trying to go to college, someone who has a similar philosophy and life
and is headed in the same general direction....then that would be ideal.There
is one person I kinda have a crush on, but I think they've given up on
my crazy ass. Little do they know, that when my mind is chaotic, they
seem to be the only constant. After all of these changes, I still have
yet to write them off, and I don't really plan on it.Also, I'm
trying to put myself on a pedestal so to speak...if that makes any
sense. I'd really rather just be friends with people.Friends who support me and don't judge me. Few right now that I can really count on, but it's quality, not quantity.I don't think I have ever been this happy. I have realized how to live, and how to reach my goals.
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