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DATE: 06/01/2012 06:01:30 / MOOD: Stoned
Well it is the Queen of England’s Diamond Jubilee this weekend, and what does that mean?I guess it illustrates that the UK likes to see women in power? And SexCows are not one of those sexist groups who think that Women should be like golf caddies. Either holding your balls or getting the friggin tee ready – Oh no! We believe that we are all equal.
SexCows is the BAND of the future, we respect all individuals no matter what nation you come from, what sexual orientation you prefer or if you or rich or poor – I mean... Only last night I tried to share a MacDonald’s with a homeless guy I saw sitting on a park bench, but he told me to fuck off and buy my own.
The Queen of England has to put up with a lot of unusual things… Take for example when she was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
"Oh my god!", said the Queen, "That's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this???"
The doctor leading the tour explains, "I'm sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn't do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly."
"Oh, I am sorry" said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.
"Oh my God", said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"
The Doctor replied, "Same problem, better health plan and insurance."
This is another true story, which was leaked to the press in the UK involving the Queen and Obama…
Barack Obama asks the Queen of England, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?"
"Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Obama frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom."Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walked into the room and said, "Yes, my Queen?"
The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this please, Tony, your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister.Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answered, "That would be me."
"Yes! Very good," said the Queen.
Obama went back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice-president the same question. "Joe, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," said Biden. "Let me get back to you on that one..." He went to his advisors and asked every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, he ended up in the men's room and recognized Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall. Biden asked Powell, "Colin, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Colin Powell yelled back, "That's easy, it's me!"
Biden smiled, and said, "Thanks!" Then, he went back to speak with Obama. "Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell!"
Obama got up, stomped over to Biden, and angrily yelled into his face, "No! You idiot! It's Tony Blair!"
And that My Friends is Precisely What's Going on with Federal Government in Washington D.C.
It's A Great Day, and GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!
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