DATE: 01/12/2010 16:23:39 / MOOD: other



View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: 08/07/2008 19:35:12 / MOOD: bored

A grand failure You consist of fruit and lies, and the slave of your wage doesn't get me going , it never did, no I am not where I should be but take no notice of me if I pass you by I am not who I should be because I am not myself because I've moved on, so many questions, I can't answer anything you ask of, but I can assume the role of the great grand failure if it makes you feel better, knowing you were entitled to this position since the day you were born As of now and forever you can't ever speak the truth, truth be lost to a failure such as you, but love you I did, and I wont ever express it again, take no notice of me and what I do, let the demons sleep or else I'll awake them and set them loose on you I am not who I should be, I was once a baby boy, sitting in the rain, collecting my sad thoughts, who am I and what can I do, can I kill some time for you, don't walk away, you don't know the things time can do, rape and ravage through the bones that surround the tired heart, who sleeps at night anymore? You consist of coke and trampled shamrocks, veganism is a hate crime against your taste buds, I can't taste you, I can't feel you, your just a ghost that I never knew A grand failure such as you, can never walk on by, selfish little liars, they parade so full of vanity -Jon Powder- . St.Paddy’s March (The Poet) I’m not a sinner, not a saint, I never went to catholic school, but I’ve passed a few down this road, I’m not your average punk, I’m not your average kind of guy, I’m not the kind of guy you take home to meet mom, I’m not a sinner not a saint, I take what I give and I give what I take, I ring the bell, straight up to heaven and straight down to hell, walking down another spirng time street, another day to pass the time, so come along - come along come along - for just a little while longer, come along, come along I see the children in the playgrounds, making wars and settling scores, the sins of our fathers have come to past but still some children live in the past, the ignorance and bliss, the punk rock parade, St.Paddy’s day has come and the kids march the streets, singing "come along - come along"...We’re not sinners, we’re not saints, we bleed what we give we spill what we take, spitting seeds at one another faces and bodies, marching the streets, singing along to this punk rock song, singing along "come along, come along" the churchbells are ringing, down in the street, I’m not a catholic boy, but sometimes I wish I was, never went to catholic school, never went to church, but sometimes I wonder, what that life would’ve been like, but I see those war games, in the playground and I know that if I went to war, back when I was 7, I wouldn’t have been the same guy that I am today, from what I once was would have never been, so I walk around, in the spring-time grounds, humming along to my spiritual song, humming along come along- come along -Jon Powder- . Arrive and Depart (written about a strange dream I had) I'm sorry if the crowd takes me away, with your hands on the glass, your on the other side of the looking glass, if you depart than my train arrives, and I'm taken away with those who have come into my life so sudden I'm sorry if we didn't have all the time to say goodbye, and I see the regret in your eyes, but maybe it is time to go our own ways, and I'm sorry for not giving a proper goodbye, but you went your own way, with both hands on the glass, you never waved goodbye, you just looked on as I went my way If you depart I have no choice to arrive and go my own way, if your a liar than I'm bi-polar and there's no harm in admitting all of this and that, manic goes our hearts when the train comes, you must depart if I'm to arrive today I'm sorry, but it is time to go our own ways, this is my last goodbye, but I can't say it to you now because the crowd has come and now you depart and I will arrive, with your hands on the glass, so much regret has come your way But it is time to say goodbye -Jon Powder- . Shuffle Are you where you belong? Can you see it all, the sun, the glory, the waters flowing in the rivers, they come running through my veins, are you where you belong, when you step outside, cluttered footsetps of childrens feet, shuffle on down the avenue lane, are you where you belong? So go on now, move along, you are not where you belong -Jon Powder- . Alone See this poem, I don't have so far to go anymore, with your name written on my arm, no I'm not in love with myself, never was, so ego trips don't mean anything to me you see See this heart, I had the numbers of the beast written on my skin, 777 has no holy rights when you don't believe, just like me, can I grab you and just fade away, lost in the night because I can't bare another night jerking off to thoughts of how things could be, because it doesn't feel the same anymore when I'm awake at night and all alone, I want what you gave to me, when I was looking into those pale blue fragile eyes If you want to know the full truth, the story of my life has been set on fire because I can't bare to be without you, and I'll write myself to death if I can't pull through the brightness to see you, because I take comfort in the dark because I can't stand the nine to five blasphemy that has everyone's balls in a bunch, and sunshine doesn't mean a thing to me I don't want to be alone, that is my deepest fear, I don't want to be alone anymore, this is how this man feels, in my purest and most raw emotion, this how I feel I got nothing to hide, because I need you, my beautiful love -Jon Powder- . Sexuality Every night, thoughts of you Come flooding my body Lost in you And I can't help but feel this way Entangled in your beautiful mess Every night, with thoughts of you Looking at the door There is an exit to this human condition But no matter where we go We cant escape our skin Our body Our hearts and what they feel Why are we scared? Its only love When it comes down to it Its just the human touch Its only sexuality Hot and bothered But its what we are And its what we do Did you ever look at what was and what could've been With thoughts like these, and our future is overdue Its only sexuality But why does this pain hurt so bad inside You gave in to Those lonesome nights Lonesome thoughts Empty cries, better days And better sighs Every night, with thoughts of you Lost in you You got me tangled in this mess of yours Whether or not you ever notice I wanted to be the blow job king When it came to your needs and wants Its only sexuality But it felt much deeper than those basic thoughts And love scares us all that's why we turn to one hand love Instead of endless love and devotion to the partner we should trust Fuck and run. Run and fuck alone Always looking for the door There is an exit to this manic state of mind There is an exit to the human condition But I know the end is never the end We always find someone to sink into And cave in and detonate Short comings and long nights alone One hand love and one night stands Its only the human touch The nature of arousal, the attraction (set to backfire) Why are we scared? Its only love When it comes down to it Its just the human touch Its not just lust, and masturbation Its only life Heartache and short comings But its what we are And its what we do Its how I feel Its what I do Its what I cant escape or deny When I loved you You turned away Its only love What are you afraid of? Looking at the door Looking at the endless nights alone There is an exit to this human condition But its an exit that kills us all But no matter where we go No matter what we do We cant escape our skin We can't escape what we feel Our body Our lives Our hearts and what they feel Our lives and what we do Why are we scared? -Jon Powder- . Obscene As I open up my wounds, will you feed on me, if I bleed enough, will you drink it up, if I tell it "like it is" will you gain respect for what I am and what I do, I'm not in the best of moods and I can't make it all sound so artsy, all I want to do is crawl under the covers and rest next to my love, but life's a bitch because he's off in the distance, I got to be this thing, the Dandy stands with fists wrapped up in skeleton gloves, as I open up my wounds, I give you the attitude that I always kept inside, it's time to unleash the beast because feeding is over and now let the obscene point of view from this gay punk homo-rocker electro-wanking nun be set loose, spitting daggers at those who've wronged me, who've lied to me, spitting daggers at the bastards that knocked me down, ascend- descend, I've done both, and if I can't do it like I once did before, than so be it, sometimes you have to change your shoes because the roads get rough and seasons come and seasons go, I'm still the same I'm not whispering, I'm shouting, I'm bleeding, I'm fighting, I'm loving, I'm fucking, I'm sleeping, I'm crying, I'm speaking to your soul, don't turn away when you've come this close -Jon Powder- . In the End You, the perfect beauty, so still in the sun, winter has come undone, walking to and fro, from city to country, the road goes from narrow to straight, in the end, at the end of your life, you see faces and smiles of friends and distant family, closer or far, at the end of the day you are all that you have, you are all that you need, you are all that you have, you are everything it seems You, the lonesome hero, playing the cards without hesitation, so sullen and cold, you keep walking away, but every time you try to turn, the direction you seek, always points to me SO fuck you destiny, we hold no solace, solace can't be given it can only be earned, so let me out of this black cold room, where I can feel the cold chains of dead romance, pulling me down, pulling me through, the razor cold of a winters passing, at the end of the day, I am where I was when I awoke, cold and distant on a gutter punk bed and you, the beautiful beast, with rapture so pure, screaming inside, at the end of the day, what do you love, you know only fear, you know only pain, you know only emptiness,and endless denile, so you turn to me , what can you love, who can you love, what can you love if you can't love yourself? you are everything you need, and than some it seems, so sad, but you claim it as truth, running away from the love that was shown to you, you ask for second chances and third whirlwinds and through all of this, the rapture came undone so fuck you destiny, let me out of this cold cold room, I want out of this cold place, where my slumber sleeps so awake, while my dreams scream out, for peace of mind, so mind this, and you shall see at the end of the day, you are all that you have, regardless of comfort, regardless of love, you are all that you have, inside your shell -Jon Powder- . The Dandy Arcane I am not some spirit of the time, no joke, I come from the darkness and I can't survive with all of this apathy, spitting venom on the graves of my past lives, I am not some kind of light to guide you home, fuck the goodness if you can't see the light on your own, it burns my eyes so don't aggravate me, when I sit here and try to find a feeling inside this skin, and masturbation just has no time for me Sing a song until your story becomes whatever it is you are singing, play the game until you become the played, and here I am, spitting up blood, because the world has shit on me, and I need an umbrella, cuts and sctraches all over my backside, my good side has since retired and I am now the shadows hiding in your room, spreading the doom and gloom, not giving a fuck if it drives you mad, up and down the walls, pisstake keepsakes and jerk off when you think your all alone, the ghosts will haunt you when I can't Arcane and glowing heavenly sick lights, blink me into life, never close your eyes, The Dandy comes swiftly and the rapture soon follows, with hymns and poems telling you how fucked you really are - on the inside of coarse, where the heart turns sour and piss is pumped into the veins instead of your blue blood cells, so don't tempt me when I sit here against the wall, facing the corners, with a pen and paper and knowing everything that you thought I didn't know, so fuck me my dearest lover because I need your tender grasp, your tender kiss, give me your force of nature fuck because that left me breathless, and after I'll sit there, after, learning how to play guitar so I can sing a song A song that speaks to you and me, and this life can be so hard, and this life can go and suck my balls for all that I care, because as much as I could care less about the world that surrounds me I still have to put in context that you are where you are and I need to get my angst ridden ass off the ground and be where you are, so I can set suburbia on fire with one match and one mad stare It's just me, nothing else, it's me with this attitude and empathy just has no time for me, when I see the death march - all the twink plastic men and all of the republican people, having tea and spreading themselves open, to show how much they have in common, all hollow and no substance, I know I'm being crude but fuck it, learn to suck it up and grow a pair if you don't know how to take a joke, ha ha So to hell with it, it all goes up the ass of some lost soul somehow, some way, it's not so painfull, it's nothing new, just delayed irony And I wish that I could parade the streets of the free, with my sense of humanity, what a trip it would be -Jon Powder- . And The Demons Sing Blessed are the weak Sing that prayer, but you better beware Every shattered note you sing Comes a consequence There is a void coming from the ocean Ready to suck you up I never hid my demons I took them, embraced them And the demons sing Demonology and verses from the bible I got my life set afire Ready to let go of desire If the end really is the end Struggle no more Blessed are we Blessed may it be the last time we all see The light that never goes out Tilted towards another direction The water is deep, going past our heads Breathing under the water Choking on mortality And the demons sing Blessed may they be From the perspective of the theoretical believers Colonists and satirists Saturnine skies, under that The demons sing this song That was given to you and me Sing along, come along and see everyone Sing along to this time bomb, detonation destination Sing the song, we've all come along to see the deathly parade Marching towards the ocean If the end is the end, than close your eyes But the candle never gets blown out Whether or not if the water rises or descends Beliefs or make believe Theoretical or rhetorical Whatever you believe or deceive Blessed are the meek With melancholic voices Humming along to the song that repeats and reprises The water rises The ocean takes you whole You sing And the Antichrist sings And the Angels sing And the People sing And the Animals sing And the demons sing Good god, the fallacy sings! Good god!! Are we the living dead?!!! -Jon Powder- . The Liar's Den There is not enough dick out there to suck to make me want to cheat, I'm loyal to the core, there is not enough hate in me to make me want to pull my triggger and shoot my germ all over the most degenerate soul, yes, I'm having a dark moment, but if you turn up the bass and play that electro punk than you might see my sense of humour come sliding in, like a Nun on sunday, you know she's wanking to the sound of the underground punk scene, Audio Bullys and Peaches give me hope, hope for a more real and raw world, let the electro fuck your soul, I got no more time to waste so put on your record and show no mercy, your not here for show, there is not enough free will to make me not want to be myself, and if I could, I'd pump myself with the beats so deep isnide this empty shell, turn up the bass and let me get lost in this sound, so surreal, I'm clean when I have to be, I'm gritty to the core if you like it, I'll give you more, to the man I love, to the life I give, to the song I have to sing, speak it don't just think it, there is not enough sin to take in to make me a saint, there is not enough love to keep inside this shell so empty, the liar's den is not where I'll be, fakes and the wannabes linger, haters can go and sit back with their indie rock look, with the boots, the scenesters, the false punks with radio friendly anthems of teenage constipation, turn that shit down, blast the audio, let them bullys take you down raise your fist, close your eyes and fall back, there is not enough lust to make me want to cheat, my zipper remains unzipped, it only opens up for my lover when I'm in heat and in need of his life and love and punk rock armageddon -Jon Powder- . Christopher Sitting there, with memories That make you laugh and sigh Curse those days, but they still reside Inside that heart you keep inside Good natured, kind and caring Dear Christopher, why have you wept those tears? Looking at seasons come and go Ready to move on, but the past still calls I know how that pain feels, deep inside The yearning and wanting, soft angelic snow Falls down on you, when you walk and ponder What's yet to come Christopher, lets go walking in the snow! My dear friend, come sit here for a while Lay there and take all the time you need To get past those hurtful thoughts and feelings You got the sun shining inside of you My friend, you have but to ask anything if you need Or want anything, writing this poem I look at how it is and how it could be for you Dear Christopher, so great to meet you, so glad to know you Come walk in the snow, poetry knows no boundaries When I write for you Christopher, so glad to know you Good natured, kind and caring My dear Christopher -Jon Powder- . Shambles Sleepless in vain Excessive restless destinations, far out of reach Inside the dreams As I awake To sorrows of better days Better rays of sunshine, shining through that window Shovelling coal inside my head, yearning But never closing my eyes Insomniac talk Rambles and shambles, ruthless eyes still looking Peering into sadness And getting lost inside my own madness I write this down And lay my thoughts to sleep, with chainsaw prayers Cutting my tree of life into splinters and dust Screeching like banshees, just lay my dreams inside the hearse And carry them away In shambles Rattling the chains of cold bitter days, wide awake dead Restless inside my head A good days sleep Is always out of my reach Vampire Boy -Jon Powder- . Don't Channel Me Spoken word can be revolution, just look to Saul Williams, the great revolution can be Hot Chip if you let it in your system, everywhere I go, the kids just want to channel me, with the questions of who I am and what do I have, what do I want, what can I do to save the world, I take no part in the society that you take part in, give me underground rock, underground electro, give me underground culture and I'll give you something to think about Revolution is not a choice, just look at the kids these days, lost souls with nothing to do, we can rebuild, because this is not the end, we carry on, changing the sounds, fuzz-tone guitar and six string bass, revolution will be televised and American Idol will be the first to go, with the industrial manic meltdowns, the scenes will emerge to take back their dignity, iTunes is not the world, but it's getting there Don't channel me, if you don't have a clue, don't channel me, if you don't know what to do, don't channel me with the pretty boys, the pretty girls, word up to Miss Kittin - Frank Sinatra can indeed suck my dick and lick my ass, motherfuckers are indeed so nice, Slap the PA sticker on my mouth because to be out there in the real world is a true wonder, and why water yourself down with such sad misanthropy, I haven't been around the world, but I've seen my fare share of chaos, and if I'm getting too obscene, honey just know that I meant no harm, it's just that my mouth is a weapon, I have a voice and I'll make some use of it, no more 'please' just fucking give me my free speech now, spray paint my soul all over the walls, don't channel me if you have a conservative point of view, if I'm not your cup of tea Choke on it -Jon Powder- . Existentialism Carrots To and fro You go, go on To and fro Infinite madness always creates sadness Melancholy blues Revolutionize this heart of mine Sipping raspberry juice from a wine glass I drink no alcohol or wines The glass just looks good in my hand To and fro You, you ho Always going and doing whatever Like a 20th century movement, like a dandy Such as me, without the guns and poetry Just for show Existentialism, eating carrots And sucking the life out of the art you claim to create To and fro Off you go Fucking ho To and fro, go Just go -Jon Powder- . Jew-Boy They got no right To take your rights away Hitler never died, he lives on in their ignorant hearts Its time to fight back Fight back and take them on You hear their calls of hatred And you see their acts of prejudice Lay down and see the fireworks explode in the sky Lay down and watch the sun set For another day May we rise with strength to endure They got no right to nail you down To the cross of their destruction Neo-Christians and neo-Nazis Pride and prejudice, for the better tomorrow They cling to the words of written long ago They use those words for their owns needs and mutilation Calling you names like 'Jew-Boy' or 'faggot' They go no rights to say such things Smashing mirrors of you're own self esteem They got no right to tear you down You want to live Where the hatred is unknown Where the ignorance is inexistent Those saturnine hearts never shine With those stereotypes shouting slurs and pestilence It seems like Hitler never died And what a sad fucking thought that is -Jon Powder- . Gritty So you have it, so it shall be, a gritty poem, a gritty smile, a gritty point of view, and so you have it, another angst ridden point of view, to look at , to discuss, to displease, to delight, a gritty poem, a gritty look, another passage in another sob story, of another 21st century cockroach, gritty as it may be, life is life, up or down, side to side, gritty or clean cut whatever comes your way, live it, or be cast aside for real people who have no choice but to live their lives head on -Jon Powder- . The Separation of Church and Jon I don't mean to say this just to offend you I don't mean to say this to tear you down But the church is just something that means nothing to me Sunday masses sitting on their lazy asses Instead of helping the sick and the poor They create laws and create rules that we all must obey Anti gay Anti human rights Anti human beings So sorry if this offends you young lad But I don't go to church And don't expect me to sit there For a few hours, hearing how I'm going to burn In a fabled hell created by bigots a few centuries ago Sorry if this offends you But read these agnostic lips of mine "I have no use for you" I'm not against your beliefs but please keep your mouth shut I don't follow your flock of sheep or seagulls Give or take, shuffle your deck of cards, gamble and spend your life Questioning your footsteps, ponder where you came from Look no further than your fathers balls, don't look above or below Humorous you may think but its just genetics, not a stork Or makeshift fable I'll awake from your nightmares Of Armageddon and baptism, I'll awake from your curses And shout at the mirror cursing my life lived in sin Mirror Mirror On the wall Forgive me my father, but I do not care for your words I'm not ignorant, I just have ADD, and I never met you before So your preaching matters not to me I don't mean to offend you but I don't go to church Get a torch and I'll show what I intend to do If you keep on opening your mouth and preaching your beliefs to me The separation of church and state should remain that way And why does church get such high royalties And why does church have any say in what I do or play I got my rights to live any way I choose You go tell this to your mass, lose your soul to the drowning flock But its up to you if you want to live that way With their preaching's and mistreating Their anti gay Anti human rights Anti human being teachings And yes I know about some gay friendly churches But give or take you still wont ever catch me there I'm not starving for salvation anytime soon And Hell on Earth seems like a joke if you look outside And take a good look around I don't mean to offend you But a church is just a building I don't mean to offend you but I can't waste my time In praying to the clouds, hoping that some star will shine my way I got a life and I'll get to my destination on my own Sure I got faith, but my faith is in myself If I don't believe in what I do, than I don't got a chance in this world I don't mean to offend But I don't waste my time with church It's just not for me And it never will be for me So just shut that bible and preach to someone else Read these lips of mine "Shush" -Jon Powder- . One Less War To Die In Burn me like you burn those children Rape me like you rape the world Stand above me and show your body count Sing your songs and write me off Praise your lord when you drink from my heart I got my dark moments And I got my light to share I got my time And I got my nightmares in my head If only this hole could be deeper I'd take you all down inside it Give you shade to hide your Burning hot white lies Burn me like you burn your rights Take me back to Edmonton So I can see how much damage has been done To this cold human being that you see Staring back at you Underneath this skin The nerves are shot, the sun shines down But I can't reach out And take it in You see the harm that you've done When I fall back down Happily going down, falling back down The people all fall in One less war to die in Take me back to the streets of Edmonton Where the noose I made Years ago Can be found still in that tree Waiting for me Patiently And I see the war that was made In the eyes of crumbling children With flame and blood on their minds Walking a death march on the school grounds Feeling the rush go to their heads Burn them like you burn the world See the black and white scene, this endless film Document the suffering And sell to someone who gives a shit And call yourself a hero When truth be told All heroes get shot down All get taken down With one less war to die in So take me down Into the darkness, that hole That was dug deep into the ground Where I can collect some shade And give it back to the night If only we could all get some self control Maybe than we can look up into the beautiful sky And hope that all of this pain is over and done with With hopes of One less war to die in One less bullet to be taken out of The children you sent out to play Ready for combat Ready to be taken down Take me back to Edmonton, so I can collect my thoughts This life, it's relentless -Jon Powder- . Hellish Quality What more can I say When its all been said and done I'll play it right, play it how you want me to A man with time to kill Been raped by time repeatedly With a switchblade to tell my tales Of endless redemption and desolation Let's walk home now We got time to keep Keepsakes to dismember What more can I say now What more can I do Go on now, you tragic figure Tragedy with a smirk and a giggle You can't be set free, freedom Is not a choice among men What more can I say When murdering time is all that we ever do Blood stained children are we With our tragedies written down for all to see I'll play it right this time, I'll play it true A boy with time to rule With a dark coat to cloak me from the norms Such hellish quality when all I ever wanted Was some peace of mind And some time to waste But wasting time is all that everyone does So I need an escape route And a path to tread, where My good impressions are left to be pondered By the bitches and bastards of regular day to day Sedation You say I'm manic But I say other wise I just know my standard amount of time I know, I know, I know What more can I say What more can I do Detonate like a time bomb Taking time and making some use of it -Jon Powder- . For Chad They'll succumb to their own demise one day If only time could speed up to catch up to them, with their crimes What they've done to you, what has happened to you You'll walk away, knowing who you are And what they've done The echoes of a song, you quietly sing Shame, upon them all, shame The cobwebs gather, like a storm ready to be unleashed Home is not what it used to be, nor was it ever really home The years you spent, in teenage hell, have passed on And they'll succumb to their demise one day my friend Shame upon them all, shame The echoes of a fragile voice, the song you sing A lonely choir boy, singing a song that comes and goes Shame to them all, just cold hearts, bleeding poison all around Speak in Gaelic, those words you learn along the way Go back to home today, is it where you truly belong? They'll succumb to their own greed one day my friend Their own self disgust and hatred can only get them all so far And what they've done to you, is unspeakable, is shameful As a boy, you once were, now a young man, with so much hurt in your eyes I know where you stand, and as a friend, I'll never miscount you, Never leave you behind Shame, upon them all, my friend, shame -Jon Powder- . Endless War There is an endless war inside your heart, where the bombs get dropped and your self esteem falls apart, see the anarchy inside these eyes, anarchy is an art and I am it's subject, painted and drawn, shaded and smudged March along the tired streets, where teenage idiocy is all but spent, your kids are telling lies and you just supply their endless greed, lock them up and throw away the goddamn key, there is an endless war no matter where you go, suburbia is in flames and the city is next, country after country your all asleep, hear the Irish pub song and let it speak, buy me another drink because irony comes in threes and right now I've lost count on how many times the irony has been on repeat There is an endless war inside the heart, the soul has been erased and the end is never here, nor there, or anywhere, march and march the broken streets, cut your feet on the glass of broken homes, feed the fodder because you think it makes your smarter, feed the fooder because you think it makes you stronger Take your life given ways and strike your hatred down, and take no part in what everyone else says is the modern and fascist way of living, this isn't life, this is all - lies, there is an endless war inside the heart, everyone makes a choice, with what to do, and everyone goes their own ways, in the end, there is no end The war goes on, casualties on parade -Jon Powder- . Honest Words Hateful words, succumb to spite, spite me and spite yourself, drink the poison down, your choice not mine, such beauty like you can only go so far, no beauty can ever reach the skies, sky high and fall down below, where salty dogs like you belong, weep not for the sorrow that has come your way, you lit the torch so let the embers burn out, burn out my friend I can't look back in anger because those feelings are still the same like it was when I first felt them, I don't know you anymore, but did I ever, who are you and what do you stand for? I'm not dead inside but I feel it from time to time, your lies won't tear me down, I know what I've seen and I know where I come from, ignorance can be bliss if you let it inside your heart, but it won't last, it never does, it won't sell your life's story to anyone, I don't buy it, it's not the truth, I'm not hollow, but sometimes I feel it, when will the Sunday boys come to claim me, brother in arms, ready for war, the streets are wet from the rain, the Sunday boys with their fists ready for a punch or two, later for drinks and guitars and drums, bass lines and vocals and violins What goes inside the heart always stays inside the heart, from this French-Irish-native boy, black hair and brown eyes, can't tell a lie because lies can't tell me, know me, read me, where has the Sunday boys gone to? The catholic dark masses that family comes from, under Christian reign, this agnostic skin is bleeding through the darkest of days, the streets are empty and I have grown up, but the rain still falls, wishing I was 14 again walking around with you salty dogs, so careless and free, with no religion to keep us down And where is that lover, the one who I once claimed myself to, he's gone and so I shall move on, for my real true love has found me when I least expected it, the boy who I once was, is now a young man, resting my head on my true love's shoulder, no false lover can ever scorn me now, no false love can ever reach out and break me, walking around the heart of my true lover wrapped around my heart - so intertwined, but... under a sky of American reign, I'm not American and so I won't be tied down to the red, white and blue whips and chains of the Fascism and Terrorism of the patriot men and women and children of the Land of The Free, patent pending laws and humbled flags and fags, held down to see the error of their life-given ways Born in another land, but my love, with what I've seen and what I've been through, America is not the world and it's not big enough to keep me down, and so I reach out now and pull you through the void of right wing and religious rules that kept you down, and we shall raise a glass or two and celebrate our engagement when we know deep inside that these feelings we feel are okay and right, with a ring for you and a ring for me, these honest words that are spilling out of me are for you, us salty dogs sitting in our room, on the bed listening to Flogging Molly, getting lost in each other's eyes, we were born distant and lost, but we found each other in such hateful times, with such hateful words spilling everywhere Such honest words I say, can only be said to the one I love, where I come from and what I've seen, what you've been through and what you've felt, you know me so well, I don't even have to speak or say anything, but I still do I still do -Jon Powder- . Like a Billy Bragg song… So here we go again The world is going to hell, but take some time And talk with me Hey there, I'm not just some arrogant prick Wasting time and always sucking dick I got my good sides and my bad sides My faults are my own and the mistakes that I've made I do admit them So don't turn away with that pride in your eyes Because you don't rise above me, your eye to eye Face to face, with someone who's come a long way from home I'm not here to substitute for anyone, not here to speak on anyone's behalf So go grab a chair and sit with me We'll talk about anything and everything Fuck the world, but with humour we'll curse So here we go again Life is going to shit But before you spit and yell Just sit here with me and let it all go to hell We'll find some common ground and Like a Billy Bragg song, I'll speak to you with heart Lets go and walk around, we'll go and scare the conservatives in town With humour of coarse So here we go again Life is free, life is scorned, life is held down And with whatever strikes you down Get up and look around Because you can't down the man and woman for so long Conservatives can't keep it all tied down And like a Billy Bragg song The truth will be heard So sit here with me, before it's time to go To get lost in the world, before the bombs rain on down Sit here with me for a while And talk -Jon Powder- . Snotty Punk Boy I pledge no life to the flags you make me bow to, but I bow down enough to moon the crowd that is behind my behind, you say you got to put that flag up in the air for all to see because you are showing the symbolism of your freedom, what an excuse for an excuse to show how facsist you've become, democracy? ha! You are, we are, I am, nothing, nowhere, just face it, let's face it, the political agenda is just a laughing manner because they are all going to kill us all one day one day, hey-hey-yay-yay! So you say you got the right to choose, but the rights were never menat for you, only the upper class snobs, living in their fallacy, the pounding of drums when we march down the streets, human rights, gay rights, our right to live, straight people, gay people, people are people, open your fucking eyes, I pledge no life to those flags, while they burn in my eyes, I seek no path towards those walls and chains and false liberty, guns shoot, fireworks go off, the streets are crowded with the people and the protest posters, the sounds of shotguns, the barking of dogs, the stars taking hold of the power of the people - sold out, bought out, the protest song comes to a halt Snotty punk boy, with a heart set aflame, made to be ashamed of standing up for his rights, open your eyes, wider my brother, open them up and see the world for it is and for what it can be, open up your pants and let your love run free, what a disgrace the power of the people has been sold to MTV, snotty punk rock boys and girls, the boy toys and the cell phone girls, what a revolution it will be when the power gets handed to these wasted young moderns Downloaded and shared, I hope the raptures comes, and I hope it can be downloaded on iTunes -Jon Powder- . Aaron It took me so long to see, the love that was in front of me, softly spoken, you whisper sweet words to me, writing words this way - I just can't find all words to describe how much you mean to me, hey pretty eyes, you mean the world to me I went the distance for the right person, I went the distance because this feeling was true, no road can ever be too long to travel for me to get to you, no land is too big enough to walk across to get to you, when I say I love you I mean it with every word, with heart and emotion given and taken, with every beat my heart makes, here I am today, when I saw you with your boyish smile, blushing and shy beyond charm and sweetness, when I saw you there looking back at me, you look so beautiful, my love I love you -Jon Powder- . Catholic Blood Is it done, have you led me astray? Did you carve out your name on this skin and walked away? The silence of the night is all that I hear, while you walk away and don't hesitate... I have walked endlessly just to see where I've been, and to see you at the end of the road, was a vision that I couldn't erase, from this heart so frail, but you stopped and you went another way, the words of your Father and Mother have torn you apart, and just do as you do because you've ran out of words, spinless it seems, but I guess you have no other choice The blood that I bleed is catholic indeed, but no water has fallen to cleanse this mind, body and soul, I ran free from that spell many years ago and the father and son and holy ghost is just a corporate beast that is forever feeding in the weak and those who are willinmg to get swallowed whole, and while you go about your Christian ways, I look away and I walk, to escape from what I know isn't real, inside this mind, thinking endlessly I walk endlessly, these agnostic bones can only go so far beore I collapse and break apart, and all that I ask is for you stand up, get up and get out, run away and think who's life are you living, who's heart do you want to break and make, and be a part of, this blood that is inside, is starting to pour, against my own will, and in your silience I have bled, and I bleed yet again catholic blood, spilled... on a cold christian yard -Jon Powder- . The Parting Glass Where has the writing gone to? It's still here, just taking time is all and everything, where has the Dandy gone off to? Still here, just lingering is all, the art still speaks, but right now it is murmuring, lightning still shoots from this pen if I desire it when I scribble this gibberish down, humour is what is keeping me sane right now, haven't written much down since Minneapolis, I'm missing Aaron and I don't want to write down deep dark depressing poems right now, It's just taking some time to channel these emotions, music has come to keep me company, when I needed a blanket the most, thank fuck for music, The Pogues-Smashing Pumpkins-Audio Bullys-City and Colour-Rocky Votolato-The B52s-Alkaline Trio-Rufus Wainwright-Pansy Division-The Ramones-The Jesus and Mary Chain-Heavens-Bauhaus-The Most Dangerous Race-Aqualung-Dropkick Murphys-Flogging Molly-Mogwai-The Streets-Elliott Smith-Miss Kittin-Hot Chip-Billy Corgan-Pixies-Morrissey-Brad Sucks-XTC-Leftover Crack-The Cure-Neverending White Lights-My Bloody Valentine-The Dresden Dolls-The Dubliners-FEAR-Joy Division-Saul Williams....gimme that punk, because that punk rock will always save me when I need to be saved, I need a case of ice cold dr.pepper, and maybe a nice grilled steak, some comfort food, minty ice cream perhaps? The Parting Glass by The Pogues, this song has been stuck in my head for a while now, The Pogues covered this song the best methinks since this is an old traditional song, Irish Punk - my salvation, Hearing Shane sing on The Parting Glass, such redemption, right now, I need this so much, the parting glass, I need to start my 7 hour writing session, it has been a while, and so I shall go back to my old ways when it comes to art, because art is the only way for me to exist, and now I will begin again... "Goodnight and Joy Be With You All" -Jon Powder- . America On a bus, to nowhere, where my heart can rest when I feel dead and alive, All the people stare if you despair, all the bullets cry when the patriot dies, O Americana - the great burden dived we stand so untrue - for you, Bite and scratch, fight and bleed, On the road to another place where I can collect some space Some time to kill, for another tragic thrill Do I give it all, just to destroy the crosses you took forever to erect on your front yard, see the stars on that ripped flag, grab a gun, do in some fags, no pun taken for a joke not heard, do I surrender to the day and say everything will be okay? We're never going to devour all that there is to be taken, do I give just to surrender my all Pumped full of pills and dead inside with tragic thrills, O Americana do we stand tall - so broken down and lost on the inside, just for you? We - the world surrounded, all fed up with lies fed by you, we- the world - one and all, looking lost so dead and used, all that you've abused, when will you wake up and look around, so dead and tired Divided we are, standing lost in the path of destruction, my arms are tired, I collapse on the streets of the free, because it's too much to fight for, too much to give to -Jon Powder- . Still Beat for The Devil's Song All Saints Day comes too soon pipe along, play the fife the requiem (the devil's song) and so there I go (American Gothic to and fro) under a mask of culture and folk songs tales of Angels and Saints, Lovers and Follies sweeping all hope and hate under the rug getting ready to dance for one last time an american gothic with no beginning or end still beat the tribal drums, the violin set aflame when the darkness came to take the hand of the light dancing to the still beat of the Devil's song the Devil's night All saints day comes too soon -Jon Powder- . What can a young man do? What can a young man do? When a war rages on inside his skin and bones Good God, if you exist, where has your good grace gone? If atheism is where it's at, than I'll close my eyes Take a deep breath and walk around, to the destination unknown, guide me home, if home is where life is at What can a young man do, to save the world from breaking into two Do I forgive those that have come my way and left me for dead What can a young man do, when the war rages on Inside the streets, when you sleep, the people fight Inside the walls, surrounded by apathetic feelings If the good grace of a dead God is now all but spent and gone Than let's just get up and look at the roads of freedom Take leave with what you can carry What can a young man do, when war rages on Inside his body, making choices without thinking twice Pride is a killer to each generation, past and future Always today, so take leave my sons and daughters Go towards the light, take leave What can I do to help you, when the war rages on inside your heart? Silently weeping inside, when rain Drowns out your heart and soul What can a young man do, when life goes through His heart and soul and mind When war sings no hymn for peace He can't do nothing but stand tall Stand tall and collect his thoughts And wipe those few scattered tears away For pride is a killer to every generation -Jon Powder- . Pop Star Shit Pile Don't cop the attitude if you don't have the balls or heart to back it up, don't cop the bullshit because of your own insecurity, I've had it up to here with these plastic people, running the show like they got something to prove All these motherfuckers around here - they got something to buy - something to own, don't step on my path because you can't get into my shoes, took me years to get them to fit this way, don't cop the attitude if you been playing' it safe for so long - you'll get fucked up if you step out of line – Money means power in this world of white politics, money is nothing if power is corrupted - in the first place, people getting' sick with high bills and pressure, don't go copping the attitude if your heart spits bullshit and propaganda that no one wants to hear, change the channel before the channel changes you I still got a scratch that needs to bleed it's own story, so don't go preaching to me about your simple Sunday plan because I don't go on my knees for praying anymore So where the hell is heaven now? Heaven was sent to hell because the cost of living high has become so low and out of reach, you got to pack it up and go somewhere else, because the cost of playing it safe has never been so cheap and free, you have to fake it up in order to get by, so step aside if you can't ride that train if your life goes on derail, don't cop the attitude if you sell your soul for a little fame and glitter and plastic lifestyle Don't sell me something cheap motherfucker, I've never felt this young in years, sell me life once again, this life is spent and gone, change this channel before it changes you -Jon Powder- . A Suicide, Some Screams, Life and Everything You've Seen Help, is on the way, awake with a sleeping desperation, Close your eyes, hear the bullshit from people, in the night, put on your headphones, hear the noise, close your eyes, with your hands around your ears, you come from a home that isn't broken on the outside, the inside screams desolation and hurtful torment where people smash the walls and doors, you sleep to escape, but it's always days and nights awake and left alone to cry A boy, who never had no harm come his way, covered in tears and scratches, cuts and sadness, save my life he cries, broken down and looking for life to hold to and keep inside the wound, is there any life to suffice, torn down inside for being gay, inside the school, during the day, do you spend your days writing down words of inner thought to occupy the time, as it rolls on by and by and by Hold on, just hold on again and again, looking around, keep the noise and art to minimal, look around and hold on again, hear the cop sirens come and go, the noise will fade, help is on the way, awake with a sad desperation, holding a knife and looking at a mirror, a suicide and some screams, the life you never lived and everything you've seen, don't close your eyes, as your life flashes through your eyes Don't close your eyes, help is on the way, don't weep another restless night, the mental abuse will stop in time, don't weep another broken night -Jon Powder- . Kings Coming down from this endless nightmare Of sleepless nights No medication has been spent On a careless gent such as thee Take me back to my home city of Edmonton Where I was born un-forgiven The sins were as real as the blood in my veins Guilty for being alive And alive so real and careless Coming down from the medication I was pumped with Take me to the green fields of Ireland Where I can connect with life once again America can't kill me Since these shoes were built to last a lifetime I won't ever make it alive But it doesn't hurt to try Give it a shot Shoot me down from the sky, these wings Were wrecked when I fell from grace Take me down, take me away Take me back to where I was born But home never lasts, the feeling always goes The heart never sleeps restful and revamped Wanderlust with yearnings to get away from here Take me to the punk streets of London Where I can connect with the music and anarchy Can a home really last forever When the wood has decayed and crumbled beneath my feet Can kings live inside this world, where dreams are killed in combat World wide webbed and downloaded and hollow Take me back to where I was once reborn If it still stands tall and real and full of life -Jon Powder- . Anarchy Hymns So you want to tell the world to go to hell And die in an atomic bomb explosion But think first and think again Don't light the fuse just yet my friend And I know I piss you off But get use to it because you need an asshole in your life Other than your own Sitting there, keeping your rage inside Looking at the computer screen Planning out your next scheme So you say I'm lacking creativity and artistic anarchy But think again my friend Sit back and think again And I know you fell in love with yourself But think fast That kind of LOVE always ends up in tragedy Masturbation can get repetitive and no one wants Sore wrists and sore fingers And I know you fell in love with yourself But think fast And get that hand out of your pants And stop looking in the mirror So you want to tell the world to go to hell And die in an atomic bomb implosion But think fast and think twice Don't light the torch and spread your disease Sit back and think of your creativity Sit back and sing some anarchy hymns Just like me Because anarchy is an art That isn't dead -Jon Powder- . Of what was and is twenty three have past I am no longer adolecent now I am a miserable twenty-something living in elegies of my past self in ways of ADD and Heartache of what was my past self is now a new cold shiver covered in bug bites and vampire kisses.... Love is all but the same hiding in the shadows of my mind love is... Of what was and is will always be and always could be? Poetic Brilliance or Complaining Endlessly? it's both the same to me in a sense it's both the same I'm the same forever the same... Of what was and is is always the same thing to me.... -Jon Powder- . The Fred Phelps Song Hold me down, I can't escape the dirty slang that you throw at me, I need to be punished, parody? Call the cops because this house is going to get louder, the lights will blind the night. you know I've been bad bad bad, it's time for parody, you see I've been bad to the core of my inner being, I need your self-centered touch, I've been crawling and been down on my knees serving the jobs you can't admit you enjoy, hold me down, because I need to get this demon off my chest Laid to rest, come on now, get up and dance, on the grave of Fred Phelps, his people don't what they be doin' so just get up and show them what we are and what we mean, god hates fags, we hate you too, come on now, get up and shake your ass, and rock out with your cock, Because you know his rotting corpse is held up by strings, and he's going to break dance because it is time for parody Hold me down, you know I've been bad bad bad, with a break-beat sound, and just like Peaches will he be sucking on my titties because those people who followed him blindly, are still blind and they don't who they be dealing with, I got pride but not enough to lose my way, I still fight, are you feelin' this, because I've been bad bad bad, hold me down, because I need to get this angel off my chest Look at all these screaming monkeys, holding signs, ruining lives, how much shit can these monkeys throw when they reek of constipation and repetitive condemnation Fred Phelps, did you know him, did you feel him, his values were too high and his sales went down the drain, I'm a fag and yea I know what those people do, but I'm not scared of what they be and what they do, maybe they should get a sex life and walk away because that pink triangle hasn't been ripped from my heart just yet, so come on, hold me down, it's what they expect, the superficial sins they make You know I've been bad bad bad -Jon Powder- . I'm fucking hot : an essay by Dandy Jon I'm fucking hot, therefore I am more important than you I've spent my whole life dealing with image, what I should look like Wearing clothes when I was younger that I thought would make me look 'cool' In the eyes of strangers, at school, in the mall, on the bus, in public all around Always thinking that someone was looking at me and judging me The idea of body image makes me sick, I will not and I repeat WILL NOT Ever live up to anyone's expectations or idealisms or perfections If I get fat, I get fat, if I'm skinny, I'm fucking skinny Big deal, the idea of trying to win someone's approval based on your appearance is ridiculous I'm not perfect, and I don't intend to ever try and be perfect Perfection is for the shallow Perfection is for idiots, insecure and hollow The idea of making money because your 'beautiful' is idiocy at one of its best Modelling is prostitution, commercials and magazine ads are just rape 'I'm hot, I got the looks and body for it' So what? I got good hands for jerking off, should I become a fluffer? No matter how you think about it, its harmful, you may not notice it at first But give it time, the insecurity will sink in sooner or later The average woman has to deal with weight problems everyday, because Someone called them 'fat' or 'ugly', so they resort to plastic surgery And other kinds of mutilation and manipulations. Men go through these kinds of problems too, no one ever notices though Dick jobs and tit jobs, apparently the bigger the better The average man, straight and gay have to live up to penile image If your not cut and past 8 inches, your not worth knowing Or loving If you have foreskin, your a freak I never look at a guy because of their dick size, its stupid If your cut or uncut, I honestly don't care that's not why I'm in love with a person, size doesn't matter to me It shouldn't matter Shape, size, circumcised None of that should matter if you love someone But sadly, it's a part of body image And it kills some men and boys Because of what someone said to them in the locker room, or in bed Or wherever And there is no love if the size isn't past 8 inches and there is no love if your tits Aren't big like a bleach blonde porn slut The more bigger you are, the more loved you are And if you cant accept how someone looks than you need help Body image shouldn't have to be a problem Love is dead, because my body doesn't look like Brad Pitt's or because She doesn't look like Jenna Jameson The cash flow is pretty fucking high when it comes to selling body image I'm hot, therefore I am more important than you I'm hot, therefore I deserve to be in the magazines I'm hot, therefore I deserve to be loved for who I'm not The average gay man has to live up to body perfection, circuit boys and young gay boys Always starving themselves, if they don't look like a hot piece of ass They think that they will die alone Sure, some people work out because they love to, but sheesh, its not the world Don't attempt to be something your not, prostitution is never the answer Even if you don't see it from my perspective, step back and take a look at all Of the men and women that make a living by showing off their body Smile and the camera will love you Show off your body and the camera will love you Body image is corporate, body image is brainwashing You may not see things from my perspective But try and stop and just look at the system Body image is a killer The average woman deals with it The average gay man deals with it The average man deals with it Body image, modelling, posing, beauty Its corporate It's a killer Its prostitution Its anorexia to most who can't take the abuse, so they hurt themselves by starving for perfection, most never recover from it If you don't believe me Read a playboy Look at suicide girls Look at suicide boys Look at porn Remember, some porn stars go out there and try to make it as actresses and actors And porn stars are considered models, no matter how filthy Or degrading they pose Its modelling, and porn, just like modelling Is very corporate It's a part of the system Even if its only for adults And if you choose to give in to that part of the system Than I feel sorry for you You are no better than a prostitute, and your just as filthy, and I wont stand by you while you sell your soul for something cheap, its just wrong and its not right "...Oh, and I feel the same I won't ever change Not a jaded hair upon my head..." Alexisonfire (Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints) -Jon Powder- . Opening Words To know my life story is to think of churchbells,and how they would sound in these agnostic bones,cold shudder of a summer nights breeze,To know my life story is to think of these words and use your imagination To know of me and my words,you must put your shallow thoughts aside and dwell into these caves,and follow the arrows that lead to my Temple of Misfit Toys,where I am the King of the Misfits,an outsider born,To know of me is to think of no ego,but a man who wishes not of sorrow,but of a love he could never reach To know of this torment,you must place me in a box,poke at my skin,see what I bleed out,I am of skin and bones and a few scattered brains,a homosexual at times,a broken man at times,a mountain of masks that cannot fit,a mountain of daggers that cannot penetrate,I am of these lost emotions,and as ugly as I may seem,I am not as ugly as the fakes who tell the lies we hear on the TV and in these opening words,I'll speak to you and everyone I knew so well,I'll open my heart and show you my wounds,for I am broken at times and I am hurt deeply by those who came for me,only to leave me behind in the ruins ,with the other fallen ones To know of my life story,you will hear a cry off in the distance,is it mine? Only time will tell.... -Jon Powder-

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: 08/14/2007 17:28:28 / MOOD: in love

Half a Heart/Half a Spade Give a rose to me and I will keep it Give a heart to me and I'll paint it blue Ask me of sorrow and I'll tell you Give me a pencil and I'll draw you a spade A heart like mine is a spade Give me a crayon and I'll draw a candle Light it up and set my soul on fire Ask me of my sorrows and I will speak a million words no more no less My heart is a spade half a spade at least my other half is covered in dust Half a Heart Half a Spade and now I'm running out riddles to wrap around my mouth speak silly fodder I'm getting lost in wordplay clever it is not Ask me of my sorrow I dare you..... He's got himself a pretty smile You will walk in the drag of the modern fashions walking slowly absorbing the scenery with your gent tendencies a faggot in the eyes of the people that stop and look at you but they always think to themselves he's got himself a pretty smile walking with a strut most people will think you strut more than just that no pun intended I'm sure but they don't have what you got and that’s what it takes to succeed in this world with your modern waltz and modern slang will you walk around collecting shiny pennies for your luck since you have so much to give no matter how many people look at you with jealousy they can't deny that you got yourself a pretty smile and no they can't hold you back with your wings golden and bright so what if they call you faggot and queer its not their blessings that you need to hear walk in the drag of the modern fashion oh your such a gent Oscar Wilde of the modern day he's got himself a pretty smile they all say as you walk on by with a blue sky above you indeed you do A Question of Faith I wont take you down Misjudge Criticize But it seems like those right wingers Have done it again And they slammed the door on you and me Looked at us, and screamed blasphemy And they tore us down in the name of god And in the name of their ignorance Gave a sneer And shut the door And left us here I wont take this personally But it makes me think Is it a question of faith A question of logic But doesn’t this make you want to question your footsteps Your path and days on this planet Did you put a parental advisory sticker On my mouth The day I was born Did you take notice in my dreams And did you decide that I wasn’t good enough To be called a human being Because my love is not for a woman But for a man And is it a disgrace That my heart doesn’t belong to you I wont take you down Because I’m better than that And I wont believe in your magic tricks Life isn’t like a rabbit in a hat Save your tricks and ghost stories for someone else The cross I bare isn’t burning to the ground And if you think I’m an abomination Your no better than me With your pitchforks and ignorance Always tearing people like me down Straight Or gay Its always the same You say your open minded But when you see us and our ambition and dreams You deny everything we say And put us to shame Its only the truth What are you afraid of? Interzone I walk the streets not really aware of my surroundings everything is a ghetto in my eyes the youngest of children could have guns hidden this is not a bother to me I never really had a problem with children we are all children after all I walk this street like an outlaw an outsider I am Robin Hood of the modern day sorry if I didn't give you an introduction but time is never on my side is it ever really on anyone’s side us against time but time always wins I guess we should make the most of what we have I don't have much but whatever I have is yours I don't need anything all I need is my heartbeat my clothes my shoes and nothing more I walk past old churches burned to the ground I hear the sound of laughter off in the distance perhaps its the Holy man who lost his mind the grace of god was never a grace that could fill this heart if it did I wouldn’t be the outsider the freak the outlaw Robin Hood none of it the streets are filled with chaos but that doesn’t bother me it was bound to happen sooner or later my job is done the poor have fought back the rich and the poor are equal I'm no longer needed my job is done The Revolution can find a new leader The streets are now truly in the hands of the free

It was one of those days Walking around, with a decent pair of headphones on Listening to flogging molly, smashing pumpkins, the pogues, the shins Dropkick murphys, the Dubliners, Ramones, Johnny Cash and Rufus Wainwright Its not hot, its somewhat cloudy, buts it nice and windy Its been kind of humble, wish Jordan was here with me Walking around, wish Aaron was here to share a laugh But I’m okay here by myself, company would be nice But I’m surrounded by my thoughts, so its okay Its one of those days, walking around With my bleach orange hair, in my pogues shirt Walking around in my punk clothes, I’m not a stereotype But I’m a punk in the eyes of people, people tend to look at me Like I’m a criminal, at heart I’m a hooligan, not a football hooligan Just a punk poet hooligan, I’ve already made my stand in life Art is my life, life is art, truth and whatever Walking around, past the houses, past the streets, avenues Its just one of those days where the music speaks on so many levels Sitting down, on the grass, looking around, connecting with the atmosphere Its just one of those days, where I wish you were with me To share a silent moment, to share company and time But its okay if I walk alone here, I got my music playing But in spirit, perhaps you were there with me Killing Romance was it the romance that killed us here has the game of love been a game that killed us both killing hearts our hearts are dead kiss me here kiss me there lover lover love me loveless was it the romance was it the attraction was it the days in the dark that made me fall for you lover lover love me loveless leave me here kill me now kill us both killing hearts the death of romance killing romance love me loveless kill this heart where it stands waiting for you to pull the trigger love me loveless Looking at the soul of a lover So you picked me up And you brought me back Looked at me And realized how down I was You spoke to me, with your soft humble tone And you brought me back You brought me home

Modern falling through the ceiling down from Heaven this Angel falls through the kitchen floor this modern fall from grace has left the neighbors talking up the shit that is never any of their business but look everyone feathers fall from the sky I've fallen into your horizon and the atmosphere smells like shit and smoke and burning rubber falling through to the world you live in what an atrocity what a shame to see the people they all try to break my will not now not ever this strength to endure is all that I have left to keep falling like a shooting star I've fallen into the old abandoned church and the cross has split in two the believers and sinners on one side and I'm on the other what a modern disgrace go get the gun shoot me down before I take get up and walk away but look the ashes fall from the sky Heaven is burning and you have no home to go now what a shame what a disgrace such an atrocity I'm left here with no place to belong to what a disgrace this is a killing spree a killing spree the Heavens are burning up above and everyone one this planet is on a killing spree but this a modern fall from grace the people and their misfortunes what a shame what a disgrace I see the people and they talk a lot of shit they speak and never think with their hatred and violence words to cut me down but they can't break me and take me down not now not ever this strength to endure is all that I have left to keep Poor I am poor but I am rich at heart no one and no lack of money can never bring me down I'm surrounded by Angels my friends my family children that are born everyday life is hard but with these Angels among us things will always turn out right even if it isn't in this lifetime things always end up the way they should be even if it isn't perfect I am poor but I'm rich at heart and thats what really counts in these hard times Prozac Boy I am cold as ice tonight I feel damned its been such a fall from grace this smile on my face no one can erase God can't be found in these walls torn down you can pray deep inside religious or atheist your all the same I'll say what I'll say and I'll stick to it ignorance is bliss when you despise fake hearts I am cold as ice tonight but I'm not heartless by any means I just have too much to carry and I haven’t slept in days the medication that they gave me was a placebo I am damned by your grace so keep your prayers hold them deep inside I see you and your so far the people they seem to blur in my eyes self medicated parasites humming birds rats with wings they buzz around like bumble bees they irritate me Prozac Boy I am not your toy don't you hold me down self medicate me speak your words and speak it now hold me down I am cold as ice tonight I feel damned its been such a fall from grace this smile on my face no one can erase The greatest love poem I got my heart Wrapped up in thorns, but you come by And wash me clean, from the scrapes and scratches My dearest valentine Let us shine like stars, up in that sky Shine so bright Just shine tonight Come on and lets get away Come on Lets walk away from it all I'm always here Thinking of you As I sit here And write the greatest love poem The world will ever know But the world will never know it Because its only for your eyes to read Its only for your heart to keep So keep it when I'm down and dead And tired of everything that surrounds me tonight As ugly as I can be You still look at me With those pretty blue eyes And you adore me Love me for being who I am My wicked heart, in the eyes of those bigots Should burn in a hell, they said A heart and soul like mine, should rot away This love is unclean, this love is wrong But I wont turn away Homosexual or not If they like it or not, I don't care I love you And you love me that's the way it should be And those hateful and spiteful words That this world says Who cares what they say Love is love My dearest valentine Come with me We have to go Come and lets get away Come on Lets walk away from it all Come on , my dearest valentine

-Jon Powder- 

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: 08/14/2007 17:06:11 / MOOD: in love

One: His last love letter His last love letter was so full of pain love had left him in ruin he wrote with a different heart he use to know me but now he's someone else He wrote his last love letter but he's not the same he's not the same One day will come when I see him face to face and on that day I'll ask him about who he is and where is he in life but will he give me poetry will he give me something back who I am is who I will be in the future I need not change for I am now humbled but I wont break you down no I wont break that heart I walk with winter in my heart and soul and when I speak do you feel the coldness of my tormented self do you feel lost too? am I someone you can trust am I someone you can relate to? will you tear me up will you break me down will you look my direction do see past this reflection do you see my heart wrapped around, up by your thorns do you make me smile only to say you never felt this way too? He sat there looking blankly at a life he never knew even when he got closer he always tore his heart apart never getting closer even when he wished that he could he never let himself try I said I wanted to know you I tried and tried but you always kept a distance and I swear to Christ I meant every word I said but you never even took a second thought and if you felt alone I've felt that way too and I wish I could reach out and touch you now wipe the tears away from your eyes but the the pain is too much to bear and I can't keep on trying I can't keep on trying to reach out when no arms are reaching out to me and I'm left alone with thoughts of tears but they don't fall from my eyes He wrote his last love letter but he never sent it to me he never sent it to me with his tears falling down he's not the same man I once knew no he's not the same and I wonder where he's at in life he's gone Two: Humbled Young Man Its another Sunday and I sit here on my bed But could you blame me for laying here Naked inside the soul, but I got nowhere to go So why should I dress up and make something of myself When I got no hurries to be something that I’m not At my worst I’m a humbled young man Best to keep your best wishes at bay, those lucky charms Were never things that I could wish for or fancy And at my worst I’m a quiet loner with a heart like no other So its best to keep your happiness away Its another day where I’m locked in my room Always writing and thinking of you I can’t help it if you bring out the poet in me I got no worries right now, but give it time I’m sure some kind of atrocity will come Knocking on my door, asking questions and making accusations But whatever comes my way I can always count on you To show me who I really am deep down inside So I can’t help if I feel like a humbled young man When I got a heart like yours to protect me Three: Hymn For Jordan I get down on my knees And I offer you my life Solace is found In those soft angelic eyes But when the storm inside your soul Comes raining down Into my atmosphere I can’t help but drown In those emotions you can’t keep inside Choirs sing the song of your life And its melancholic and beautiful And I’m going to take the stage And sing along Sing along I sing a hymn for you I’m not the best at this kind of thing But I’ll give it everything I got And its from the heart So don’t turn away Know you are loved And this feeling I have will never die I stand here And give you my life And I stand here Weeping tears of joy Weeping tears of love Solace is found In those soft angelic eyes But when the storm inside your heart Comes raining down Into my heart I can’t help but drown In those emotions you can’t keep inside For once in my life, my beautiful angel We found each other in the blur, in the daze In the endless sadness of a faded world Never let me go, I’ll never let go This feeling I have, its something brand new Its something I never felt before And it’s a heavy feeling in my heart and soul And I don’t ever want it to go The choirs sing, and the heavens smile down on us No matter how hard times may be, for you and me We got to have faith in the endless possibilities Just don’t close your eyes Lets just whisper endless poetry Into these hearts we have Deep inside I’ll sing a hymn for you And the choir will sing along I’ll take the stage and I’ll sing for you Four: In Spades Who I am, I am no one, I’m just a poet Just a fool, I’m just a sinner, a patron saint Think of a life no one lived, a dream that no one dreams And you will know of me I am only human, I have imperfections The sorrows I have seen, were shown to me in dreams Dreams are never what they seem If I were to wake up, on a beach Feel the sand, as it touched my feet To look around, and see nothing but oceans so vacant Dearest lover, where have you gone? My heart is sealed by your heavenly crest You cry sorrows you have known long before my life Stepped into yours, long before you breathed in my scent But dear angel, our wounds we bleed are one We’re cut equally deep, so cry not alone For I am your lover, I am your grace You are the sunshine, the earth, the moon The stars that shine, the air that I breathe Lover, my lover You are all of this and so much more I give you a rose, I give you a poem I give you my life, I give you it all Think not of sorrows, think not of such things Life is rough, you of all people should know such things Believe in me, because believing is better Than scheming schemes and sorrow feelings Just believe I’ll carry your burden if I am your lover And I’ll believe in you, because you believe in me Put your hand on my chest, feel this pain through this chest My heart it beats And I weep Lover, my lover, I am true All that I am and do I’m alive, because of you God and heaven, heaven and hell, art and poetry We are of but dust , earth and water, the sun shines And we grow Give us water and we will drink Give us paper, a pen and we shall write down The stories of our lives, and loves and pain we gained And lost and experienced I believe because I can, I believe in you This time, I took my faith from god God knows my faith can be given to anyone freely It is mine And I wish to share it, I wish to give it Take my faith and call it yours I don’t hesitate, I exist because I am Pitter patter the shuffle of cards The deck I've been dealt with, I take the cards And throw them away, one by one They fall into the abyss I keep the spades and open my chest I wrap the cards around my hearts Like birdcages I am in spades In spades Five: Irish Eyes I’ve dreamt of you Long before you walked into this life You’ve taken me and you’ve showed me That there is hope A guiding light A way back home Those Irish eyes have killed my pain A saving grace, inside your heart I dreamt of you Long before you walked into my life It was fate A guiding path From a distance you looked at me And you showed me what I was made of You helped me realize who I really am You stopped the rain And we walked hand in hand Through the streets And my heart is wrapped in your endless love Endless charm Those Irish eyes Have brought me home A guiding light A saving grace I dreamt of you And here you are A dream come true A love I feel A heart I love This is love And love is this Six: New Poem A Bottle of Wine Sitting here, looking at the atmosphere Sipping tea, and freezing a bottle of wine Winter has come, and its not the best season To drink this wine I want to share it with a lover With a companion, to drink it, to spread it upon his chest And playfully devour it, in sexual manner Such silliness I think But its much too late To sit here And drink this French bottle of wine Seven: A Heart that could never break give me a heart that could never break give me a love that will never die give me a prayer and pray for me give me a home let me sleep pull me close love me as I weep help this bleeding heart it still breaks and I still weep Eight: I saw the Angel... and I saw the Angel in the distance and I waved hello to him he waved in a solemn tone he was across the river writing messages in bottles that he collected from the roads discarded disowned I often replied to him as fast as I could he would never rush me I knew he understood these hands I have often shake I always shiver I sometimes ache my melancholy is a song will you sing it will you roam these rivers that we cannot cross but we still call for each others names its such a blessing its such a shame that distant we are but still so close he's my friend he's my pal and I waved hello to him today and he always waves back to me he's such a friend an Angel to me in my eyes Nine: Song of Sorrows let us love like lovers lost in anarchy N poetry let us fuck like dogs in heat since we don't care where Heaven is could this be Heaven with the genocide of renegade religions running us down one by one snatching us all let us love like the loveless so far away in the movies actors acting out that love scene with musical scores and slow motion kisses looking at this I ponder could this be Heaven let us love like lovers moving back moving forward fucking like the end of the world is already here to blow us all away until we turn to dust could this be Heaven under black N blue skies with the renegade religions locked shocked loaded ready to take us down one by one here they come to snatch us all could this be Heaven with its ugly grin lets pretend it is lets pretend the end of the world is here let them come to take us all away Ten: The Seasons of a Broken Heart Spring: spring chickens, cooking in a bed, thoughts of you, just wont stay dead, years getting lost in you and I am naked on the floor, looking at your face, in a picture that is etched in my mind, naked on the outside, on the inside, spring chickens we once were and now we sit here without passion, your ghost still comes to me in this bed to play with my heart and riddle my mind, love is a ghost, still coming by...to say hello....to say goodbye, to kill what was your memory, to kill what I was deep inside, old ghosts always come back and poke at my heart, will I bleed this heart dry or have I already bled too much? Summer: love was so pure in the summer time, I made love to you as the rain of a summers night fell on our bodies, it wasn’t cold, it was warm and humble, but these are memories of summer that has long past, the heat burns my eyes and our hearts, no longer sacred or golden, no longer loved, only loveless and fickle, fuck the fickle fucker that is love, my memories of you haunt me and I am now writing your name in scribbles, in substance and poetry that will never be read loveless (you are, my love) Autumn: the temptations of love, and of a summer hot and cold heatstroke, I felt somewhat lost in the grace of love but could I ever feel like it was wrapped around this old heart of mine? I fell into the darkness and I never felt so alone, maybe I should give up and die, perhaps in time, things make sense and maybe one day I wont feel this way, but that time hasn’t come yet, so what the fuck am I to do, love is substance and it is OD’ing in my heart, love like nothingness I guess, It never makes any sense to me, love nothingness, embrace this hurt and let the pins prick me deep within...let me fall silently screaming your name and whispering words of passion that I could never say in your ears....love is fickle...love is lost in the autumn nocturne... Winter: my heart falls like the snow, I am not alive. I am not dead. I am not here, I am not there, the snow now falls, the snow now falls, let it fall on me.....as I turn to stone.... Eleven: New Poem To Love Him In beauty, you sleep tonight Naked beauty, you devour my heart To love him, is to love like no one else Like no other To touch his naked body, to caress His naked flesh, his hairs upon his head His pubic hair, his soft skin Laying naked in the sunlight, as it makes its way across The room To caress his body, to slide your fingers through His pubic hair, towards his belly Up his chest, to kiss those lips To look into those eyes To love him Is to love like no other To love him Is to love like an immortal Forever intertwined, naked in beauty Twelve: New Poem He broke my heart His sadness he kept deep inside Looked at me in the eyes And it broke my heart He was crying deep inside, and I know his pain Was a pain that was there long before I walked into his life He cried inside, and I felt it and I wanted to die Because his sorrow was a pain I haven't felt before His hurt broke my heart, he broke my heart The ups and downs of life and love He said he wanted to sleep But he kept on pacing back and forth, wide awake dead Sleep deprivation and pressure to be something he couldn't be He stayed awake and I could hear his silent screams And I wanted to cry, and take it all away His love was a distance and it was cutting me deep inside But I'll fight the razors and reach out And pull him here And if I have to walk the roads Than so be it, as long as this heart beats inside of me Nothing can keep me here, nothing can keep me from reaching you So I'll do what I can And do what I do I'll get up And I'll run to you When I saw you finally Face to face, I pulled you closer And I whispered to you Hallelujah I sang to you I spoke to you softly I looked at you, and I held you And you cried on my shoulder You asked me to never let you go And I promised to never let you go Looking at each other Looking at the roads we came from I held you closer I looked into your eyes And saw the sadness fade

-Jon Powder-

View Entry | Leave A Comment

DATE: 08/02/2007 17:02:36 / MOOD: don't know

Opening Words To know my life story is to think of church bells, and how they would sound in these agnostic bones, cold shudder of a summer nights breeze, To know my life story is to think of these words and use your imaginationTo know of me and my words, you must put your shallow thoughts aside and dwell into these caves, and follow the arrows that lead to my Temple of Misfit Toys, where I am the King of the Misfits, an outsider born, To know of me is to think of no ego, but a man who wishes not of sorrow, but of a love he could never reachTo know of this torment, you must place me in a box, poke at my skin, see what I bleed out, I am of skin and bones and a few scattered brains, a homosexual at times, a broken man at times, a mountain of masks that cannot fit, a mountain of daggers that cannot penetrate, I am of these lost emotions, and as ugly as I may seem, I am not as ugly as the fakes who tell the lies we hear on the TVand in these opening words, I’ll speak to you and everyone I knew so well, I’ll open my heart and show you my wounds, for I am broken at times and I am hurt deeply by those who came for me, only to leave me behindin the ruins ,with the other fallen onesTo know of my life story, you will hear a cry off in the distance, is it mine? Only time will tell....-Jon Powder

View Entry | Leave A Comment