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My WORST gig ever! (So far)
DATE: 05/13/2013 05:05:28 / MOOD: angry
Bad gigs! Every band/musician plays at least one in their life, and your old pal Adam Rebelius is no exception.
For those who have been keeping score, paying attention or even give a rat's ass, (And why anybody would want to receive a rat's ass as a gift is beyond me) knows that last week I played a gig in Berwyn opening up for my favorite local band and good friends of over 30 years, The Moist Guitars. Well, sit back while your old uncle Adam reveals all the sordid details of why this gig, in my opinion, was a big flopperoo!
A week before Easter, I got the call from "Flammable Pam" (A.K.A. Brian, the lead vocalist of Moist Guitars) telling me that I could get up there and play a quick set in between their sets. They'd do one set, during their break, I'd do a set, and then they'd come back for another set, finish off the night and close down the bar. Needless to say I was excited at the opportunity to share the stage w/one of my favorite bands, as well as old friends I've known for over 30 years. (We all grew up In Oak Park, and have known each other since our formative teenage years.)
I spent EVERY night in April getting my set list down pat, and rehearsing every song until I dropped on the spot. (No big thing for me since I usually am pretty buzzed when I rehearse anyway, and my bed is right there) I added songs, dropped songs, revised the list, and made sure that everything was PERECT for the night in question. (Or so I thought)
Well, cutting to the chase, the big night had arrived. It turned out the night in question was the bar's 46th anniversary, so not only were fans of Moist Guitars out in numbers, the place was packed w/old timers who had been drinking at this particular establishment for years. Also, the daughter of the previous owner was tending bar that night, and she's also a good friend of mine and the band, so I knew this was going to be an interesting night to say the least.
Well, things went wrong rather quickly.
First of all, one of the two guitar players, whom I will simply call "Mondo" was running late. He had a previous engagement at a wine bar the next town over. He said that he would be there at 9:00 P.M. but didn't arrive til about 11:30 P.M. The band kept calling him numerous times on his cell phone, but he wasn't answering it. Flammable Pam and myself were getting mighty pissed, and it looked like I might get bumped from the bill AGAIN! I got bumped from the bill when I was supposed to play with Moist Guitars last November, but that's another story for another day. (At the same bar, no less) Well, luckily the band set up quickly, and got up on stage, and rocked. (And let me tell ya, you HAVEN'T REALLY heard "S.O.S." until you've heard The Moist Guitars cover it. It's a show stopper and a crowd pleaser! Trust me on this one. Even srr113 and Tesco Vee would be proud and THEY'RE HUGE ABBA FANS!)
Well, they get through w/their first set, and announce me. Alright! Show time! Go time! I'm ready to rock! As soon as I get on stage, before I even hit a note, the WHOLE PLACE CLEARS OUT!
Now, believe it or not, I'm O.K. with that. I don't know if these people have actually heard my music, or if my reputation precedes me or what, but I'd rather have people clear a room and leave, then to have a bunch of phony ass kissers try to jump on the Adam Rebelius band wagon because they think they'll benefit from it. Fuck 'em! Their loss. Plus, I'm used to playing to an empty room, anyway. I live alone, so I'm always rehearsing by myself before I go to bad anyhow. The only differences I can see is that I'm just rehearsing on an elevated stage, and I have to PAY for my drinks instead of just staggering to the fridge for a cold one. I'm on stage, it's my time to shine, for that 20 minutes I OWN that stage, and I'm gonna rock out, no matter how many people are there to witness it. I don't care. Four people or 4000. Put a guitar in my hand, plug me into an amp, and I'm good to go! Right?
Well actually, FOUR people DID stick around for my set. The singer's older sister, who, incidentally is smokin' hot for her age, (A gentleman NEVER reveals a woman's TRUE age if he's privy to such information, but let's just say she could give Mamie Van Doren a DAMN good run for her money, and Mamie Van Doren posed nude for HUSTLER! No, she's not THAT old, so that might be a rather unfair comparison, but, well, I've probably said too much. She might see this, and I value her friendship, so I should just go back to the subject at hand, All I'll say is, if she wasn't a good friend, and married, I'd hit it, and just leave it at that!) The second person who liked what I did was an old friend of mine who, before the night was through, blew the friendship out of the water with his drunken antics. I'll talk more about this later in detail as this blog progresses. The last two people in the audience are people I didn't know personally, but these two got on my bad side very quickly, as you're about to find out. I don't know if they were long time patrons of the establishment, friends of Moist Guitars i've never met, or both, but if we ever run into each other ever again, (And I hope we DON'T) those two reprobates owe me an apology BIG TIME! SERIOUSLY! (Now you're about to find out why!)
I get up on stage, tune up for a few seconds to make sure my guitar is sounding just right, introduce myself, and just go right into it. I get through three songs alright. I put everything I have into it, and am rockin' out, as you can imagine, The singer's sister, and my soon to be former friend were into it, and showed their appreciation by cheering my on. Not bad. I got my own little private audience that's diggin' what i do. Well, the trouble starts during the fourth song.
Remember those two people who got on my bad side? Well it was a COUPLE. I don't know if they were married, or just going out or what, but in the middle of my fourth song, the male tries to get up on stage while I'm playing. He's too drunk to get up on stage, and falls backwards. His female companion comes to pick him up and sets him on a bar stool. While I'm finishing the song, my guitar comes off it's strap, thus, ending the song rather abruptly.
I have a few more songs to do, so I figured I'd do three covers and close out the set. I started out w/the old Shel Silverstein chestnut, "A Boy Named Sue" and that went along smoothly. No problems there. The two idiots kept to themselves, while my fan club cheered me on. Now THIS is where things go from BAD TO WORSE.........
For my second to last song I break out an obscure song by a band from Indiana called, "the Migraines" and dedicate the song to "Thumper" the bass player for Moist Guitars. It's called "I Wanna Be A RAMONE", and if you ever met Thumper, you'd know the song would fit him like a glove. During this song, my guitar falls off my strap THREE, COUNT 'EM, THREE TIMES! GRRR!!!!!! Again, I had to end that song abruptly!
Well, I'm figuring that everything that could've gone wrong already has, so I'll try to salvage my set with one more song, make the best of it, get off the stage, and enjoy the second set of Moist Guitars' performance. But, oh no! Old Adam don't get no breaks, do he now?
Just as I'm about to start the last song, Mr. Drunken Idiot gets up on stage and starts playing the drums. I tried dropping hints that he wasn't supposed to be on the stage with me, and that this is MY set, but he wasn't having ANY of it! He just kept playing, and the worst part is HE SUCKED! I mean he TOTALLY RUINED everything.
Now, as I said before, I didn't know who this person or his female companion were, so I didn't want to start any trouble. I LIKE the bar I was playing at. I've been there quite a few times, and up until that night have ALWAYS enjoyed myself and have always had a good time there, so I didn't want to get banned, PLUS, since I knew one of the bar tenders there, I didn't want to get into any trouble with her, and put our friendship in jeopardy. If this had been any other bar, and had I been playing w/any other band, I would've gone up to him, and, at the very least taken the stick out of his hand and physically threw the jamoke off the stage, but your old pal Adam Rebelius is a trooper if he's anything, and has learned to adapt to any adverse situation thrown his way. I figured, nobody really liked my set anyway, I only had one more song, so if the baby wanted his rattle, or in this case play the drums badly, I'll just ignore him, and play my last song anyway, which, let me tell you wasn't easy. He was playing in a TOTALLY different rhythm, and timing, and it almost threw me off, but since i had been practicing for a month, I was able to tune it out a little. Not much, but enough to play the song all the way through UNTIL MY GUITAR, ONCE AGAIN FELL OFF MY FUCKING STRAP!
These two idiots made it difficult for me to enjoy my night! If I ever see them again, they are going to learn the hard way I am a person You DON''T want as your enemy, and I consider both of them my enemies! If it's one thing I WON'T tolerate, it's DISRESPECT, ESPECIALLY ON MY STAGE! As I said, when I'm on the stage, it's MY stage, NOT ANYBODY ELSES! No, I CAN'T excuse the fact that this idiot was drunk off their ass and probably didn't know what they were doing. I DON'T excuse that behavior, ESPECIALLY when I'm performing, and somebody comes up on stage and disrupts my performance. The fucking jamoke didn't even have the decency to even ASK if he could come up and jam w/me! He just got up there UNINVITED! This has been pissing me off for a week! Like I said, had this been in a different bar, with different people, and a different band, i would've made sure this shit for brains lush would've got his clock cleaned, but GOOD!
And what of his female counterpart? What did she do while all of this was going on? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! SHE JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED HER MAN TURN MY SET INTO A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK! Did she try to stop him from getting on stage? Did she tap him on the shoulder and tell him that maybe I didn't want anybody else on that stage? Did she point out that maybe it might be rude to just get on that stage uninvited and start playing drums w/o permission, and a formal invitation? FUCK NO! SHE JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED IT ALL! She's equally right up there on my shit list! Some apologies on their part had BETTER be forthcoming!
Well, when I was done, Brian's sister decided to go home, since it was getting late, and she was getting tired. Heck, I don't blame her. She's seen The Moist Guitars numerous times, so we give each other a hug before she heads for home and the band takes the stage for their final set. (Which rocked just as hard as the first set, I might add) I go to the bar and get myself a bottle of beer and a double of bourbon.
I sit down next to my soon to be former friend, and only other person who got into my set, and start nursing my drinks. What does this schmuck do? HE DOWNS THE REST OF MY BOURBON RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I confront him on it, and hE BOLDFACE DENIES IT RIGHT TO MY FUCKING FACE! HEY, SHIT FOR BRAINS I SAW YOU DO IT! Shit sucking S.O.B.! So now I have to reach into my pocket and buy ANOTHER double of bourbon! SHEESH!
I WANT TO MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT I DO NOT BLAME THE MOIST GUITARS OR THE ACTIONS AND BEHAVIORS OF THESE STUPID IDIOTS! They were outside having a cigarette during my set, and were into their second song when my former buddy stole my drink from me.
I'd also like to point out, once again, that I considered an HONOR to share the same stage w/The Moist Guitars, and hope to be able to do so again in the not too distant future, and even be able to do it at that same bar. Hopefully the two people who ruined my set will have apologized to me, and my former friend will do the right thing and make amends by buying me a double!
I'm sure bands and musicians have played worse gigs than this, and I guess the fact that nobody went to the hospital that night because of their stupidity shows that I am the kind of person who can adapt to any god forsaken situation and roll with the punches.
Let's just hoe this type of bullshit NEVER happens again! If I have a bad night while on stage, I hope it's because of technical difficulties, (Other than a faulty guitar strap) and NOT because of the actions and behaviors of some drunken idiots.
Hey, at least no fights broke out, and all parties concerned should be thankful for THAT!
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No Tribal Rival Rebel Revel for THIS Nomad!
DATE: 01/12/2013 20:10:51 / MOOD: other
People talk about punk rock and punk rockers as some sort of tribal/communal thing of some sort, but I feel that takes away from a person's unique individuality.
"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe
If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. BUT NO PRICE IS TOO HIGH TO PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE OF OWNING YOURSELF!" Friedrich Nietzsche
That's why I'm a NOMAD! You no mad at me, I no mad at you. O.K.? O.K.!
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An old joke......
DATE: 12/24/2012 17:36:44 / MOOD: other
Iris Goldstein had recently become a widow, and her late husband left her a tidy sum of cash in his will. So she decided to drive around the country, travel off the beaten path and see rural America.
Her travels were going quite well until she got to the southern part of The United States.
She basically travelled around and saw the sights and explored all the small towns off the beaten path w/o any incident, until her last night of travel before she decided to head home.
as it was getting late, she decided to spend the night in a small motel in a small town.
The hotel manager had read her signature, and said to her, "We don't rent rooms to jews".
She turned around and declared, "I'm a Christian. Goldstein is my married name. My maiden name is Smith".
The hotel manager didn't believe her and told her, "If you're really a Christian then you should know your New Testament." To which Iris replied, "What about the New Testament?" to which the manager replied, "I know jews don't read the New Testament, so I'm going to ask you a series of questions to see how much you REALLY know about the New Testament." to which Iris replied, "Go ahead."
The first question was, "What town was Jesus born in?" to which she replied, "That's easy. Bethlehem."
The manager said, "You're right. That was an easy one. What gifts did the three wise men bring to Jesus?" to which Iris replied, "Gold, myyhr, and frankensence."
The manager said, "well, you seem to know your New Testament alright, but can you tell me why Jesus was born in a manger?" to which Iris replied, "Because some bigoted, sexist schmuck of a gentile inkeeper wouldn't rent a room to an unmarried, pregnant, jewish woman!"
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYBODY!
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DATE: 12/14/2012 18:42:55 / MOOD: other
I NEED to get the fuck OUT of Chicago, and I am considering moving to Seattle.
ANY AND ALL INFORMATION ABOUT THE SEATTLE MUSIC SCENE IS NEEDED AND APPRECIATED!
Also, ANY AND ALL INFORMATION about SEATTLE is URGENTLY NEEDED!
For instance, what are job opportunities like? (I've been to bar tending school, so I have those skills) How much is rent on the average? There are other things on my mind that I can't think of right now, but as I said, any help and/or information about Seattle is appreciated, and NEEDED! Thank you for your time!
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I think I'm CRAZY!
DATE: 12/08/2012 01:30:04 / MOOD: other
I've been having this strange dream lately, with re-occurring frequency. In fact i had it again this afternoon when I took a nap.
It starts out with my, my mom, and her husband all moving into this house out in the country together. There are a lot of steps to climb in order to get to the front porch, but the back of the house is on ground level or some reason.
While in this house, I keep changing bedrooms every night for some reason, which really annoys the hell out of my mom's husband. I don't know why I switch bed rooms, but every night I do.
Towards the end of the dream, i find myself in the kitchen looking in the refrigerator for something to eat or drink. Next to the fridge is a door, which throughout the dream I always assumed was a closet or a pantry. When I open the door, I discover a smaller, but more elegant kitchen, with a clear glass refrigerator, the type that holds beverages at gas stations or convenient stores, and it is stocked with the BEST beers in the world. Next to THAT refrigerator, is another door. When I open that door there is a SECRET SPACE. This space is laid out like a one floor ranch style house, but it is LUXURIOUS. It's like a secret house hidden under the house that me and my family live in. There's a spacious living room w/a big wide screen TV, a kick ass stereo system, a well stocked bar w/all my favorite alcoholic libations, and as i explore, I find a HUGE amount of good pot, a few sheets of four way blotter acid, and more coke than I've ever seen in my life, plus about an ounce of shrooms. There's also a nice Fender 90 watt solid state amp, and a Gibson Les Paul gold top w/Anico pick ups. There's also a swimming pool under a sliding floor, and towards the back, a nice master bed room w/a water bed.
When I'm in this part of the house, I do a few bumps, have a few shots of bourbon, and do a few bong hits. Sometimes i chill out and watch whatever's on TV, or I watch a DVD, or sometimes I just plug in the guitar and jam. What ever i do, I do it softly and quietly, because, in this dream,. while I know it's alright to be in this part of the house, and i always have a good time while I'm there, there is this part of me that keeps thinking, for some strange reason that if my mom and her husband catch me here, I'll be in trouble. They'll scold me pr even knowing that this part of the house exists, and tell me that nothing in that part of the house is mine or belongs to me and I shouldn't touch anything there, let alone be in that part of the house, but I know this place is PERFECT, and this is where I SHOULD be! Before the dream is over, I learn that the previous resident of the house was/is somebody famous, like a rock star or a movie star or some sort of entertainment celebrity, and either they died, leaving all this stuff behind, with nobody left to claim it, or they're away, and they're so rich that they won't notice or care if somebody's been in that part of the house and had a little fun, just as long as that part of the house hasn't been destroyed and nothing has been stolen. There's even a hidden garage w/a fancy shmancy sports car, which doesn't interest me, because i don't drive, but sometimes I think that i could get a friend to drive me around in it, just to either get from point A to point B in style, or just cruise and show off the car, and maybe pull some skirt. But I do everything cautiously, because I'm afraid of what my mom and her husband will say or do. My mom, in this dream, is really passive, and only says or does anything when her husband starts losing his temper with me, then she sides with HIM! Today the dream ended with me looking out at the back of the house and realizing how far from the road the house was and how that there were practically no neighbors around. I'm walking up the road to a concert at a local hang out. It's a fund raiser for something, but I can't remember what. I think to myself that maybe next time, I could just put on the concert in the back yard outside my house. It's big enough to hold lots of people, and far enough away that the cops won't come around, since there's nobody around for at least a quarter of a mile, there should be no noise complaints. I get to the place where the concert is happening, and the person at the door is checking IDs, and collecting the money. When I go into my pocket to get the ID and money, my ID falls to the ground, but for some reason I can't bend over to pick it up. But all of a sudden, somebody comes out of the shadow, goes up to me and says "Hey, Adam! Glad you could make it", and informs the person at the door to comp me, and that it's all cool. That person hands me my ID back, but for some odd reason. I can't seem to remove my hand from my pocket. The dream doesn't always end this way. In fact it's the first time it's EVER ended this way. Usually it ends with some other sort of confusion. It usually end with my knowing information about the house and the person who previously lived there, and feelings of confusion as to why didn't I discover this part of the house before, and if it's O.K. to be there, why does my mom's husband constantly yell at me and give me a guilt trip about even knowing about this part of the house, let alone being there and having fun?
So, honestly, people! Have I finally lost my mind? Do I need psychiatric help? Is there something wrong with me, and if there is, what is it?
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Before this gets REALLY ugly.......
DATE: 11/18/2012 13:47:09 / MOOD: other
Recently, in the activities stream, somebody had posted a pic of a British Newspaper poster (I'm not sure which paper) with a picture of a hand grabbing somebody's hind quarters and advertising something about, "Smack a Bum Day".
The person who posted this expressed their disgust at this and had claimed that it must have been a man that had come up with this idea. They then asked us men how would we feel if a woman came up to us and spontaniously grabbed OUR junk.
I decided to play devil's advocate, and stated that if done gently, I wouldn't mind, since nobody ever has, (Spontaniously, that is) and then questioned how did he know that a man came up with this idea, or what would be wrong w/a woman grabbing a mans buttocks, or what about gays and lesbians grabbing each others rear ends in such a manner of fashion?
This person then made a comparison of this type of behavior to "Page 3 Culture", to which I replied, that there's nothing wrong with Page 3, and it's the ONLT reason to give ANY money to "News Corp".
(For the benefit of those who DON'T live in Great Britain, Rupert Murdoch owns a newspaper in England called "The Sun" which every day features a picture of a young pretty topless girl! Maybe to some people this concept might seem sexist, but if you were to have such a feature in an American daily newspaper, the publishers and editors would be thrown in prison on obscenity charges. As I said before, the page 3 girl is the ONLY reason to buy The Sun. Since it's a Murdoch/News Corp paper, you already know it's crap)
I'm sort of losing my train of thought, so I'll just write what is on my mind right now.
First of all, I'd like to state for the record, that I believe most human beings have a strict set of codes and morals which act as a compass in their lives. These codes and morals are nurtured by the society they live in, the education they received, the family that raised them, and, quite often their religious/spiritual upbringing.
These codes and morals dictate to the individual what is and isn't acceptable behavior in society and the world at large.
as for me, personally, I DON'T believe that going up to somebody and grabbing their ass spontaniously is an acceptable form of behavior.
It is not only an invasion of one's personal space, a violation of one's body, an intrusion of one's personal privacy, a criminal act, (Sexual assault and battery, if the gropee in question decides to press charges and take legal action) it's just down right RUDE!
I'd like to think that most people are civilized, well behave, and have personal boundries that. along with their codes and morals, dictates right from wrong, and that most people know NOT to overstep these boundries.
I person A decides to show unwanted attention to person B by grabbing their keister, than the universal symbol of "Hey, jerk! You've crossed the line" is a slap in the face hard enough to not only sting for an hour, but to leave a red mark on a person's face for the rest of the day. If the grabber in question hasn't learned their lesson from that response, then they are a very stupid person indeed, and I would have no sympathy or empathy for such person if they did it again, and the next person they tried it with decided to put them in the hospital. They were already warned once. They had a beat down coming to them.
A respect for an individual's persona space and boundries is something that all who are reading this can agree on.
In other words, grab somebody's ass, and they don't like it or want it, don't be surprised if the person who's ass you grabbed decides to kick yours!
Now that I got THAT out of the way.........
I don't think it's any secret that I enjoy sexually explicit adult entertainment. (From here on, referred to as "Porn" "pornography" or "Pornographic (Fill in the blank)")
I have a modest collection of pornographic D.V.D.s and I by Hustler on a regular basis.
As an adult over the age of 21, I have the legal right to purchase and own such material if I so desire.
I do not believe that buying, owning and/or enjoying pornography subjugates, oppresses, or exploits human beings in any way, shape or form, and I have problems with people who do.
I do not have problems per se with people who hold an opinion opposite of mine, for that is their birth right as a human being to do so.
What I DO have a problem with is people who hold an opposite point of view that try to paint people such as myself as a horrible, oppressive, sexist, monster of some sort because I enjoy porn and they don't!
I am sick and tired of people trying to convince me that because I buy Hustler, or watch Deep Throat that somehow, I am responsible for or are contributing to the subjugation and oppression of women everywhere! ("Deep Throat"? See, I told you I was as ancient as mud, didn't I?)
Two people giving each other sexual pleasure, and having it being filmed or photographed does NOT contribute to violence towards women! VIOLENCE towards women contributes to violence towards women. Not every person who enjoys pornography is an oppressive sexist pig, or beats their wives, and I have no time for people who think that it does!
Another thing I don't have time for are hypocrites! Let me be clear on this one: There are women, and feminists out there who think that women going topless in public as part of a demonstration or protest against whatever is a form of liberation, which is fine, since I advocate any and all forms of physically non-violent freedom of expression, but somehow, if I get turned on by a woman involved with this sort of act because I like her boobs, just the fact I get turned on by this, I'm responsible for the subjugation and oppression of women everywhere!
So.... let me see if I have this right........ A woman takes off her shirt and bra to protest the system, that's political action, but if she has a nice rack and I decide to keep a mental picture of this act in my mind for when I'm alone later and masterbate to it, I'm some kind of sick pervert? Considering that I'm nowhere near this woman at this time, please tell me how this works, because I just don't get it!
Another thing that gets me angry is puritanical ethics and Victorian attitudes towards sexual behavior/human sexuality and having it shoved down my throat disguised as "Freedom" and "Women's Liberation" when these attitudes and ethics actually CONTRIBUTE to sexual repression, and women's oppression!
There was a time in the U.S., and I think these laws might still be on the books in certain states, that if a woman wanted to pose naked, the woman's husband, or family could obtain a court order and have said woman committed to an insane asylum!
I'd like to truly believe that times have changed, but one only has to look at the laws governing women in Afghanistan when The Taliban were in charge, or the laws governing women in Saudi Arabia, and Iran to see that modern day society, internationally has a LONG way to got concerning the attitudes towards women's liberation! Women are still NOT allowed to drive cars or leave the house w/o a male escort in the countries I've mentioned. Nor are they allowed to wear clothing that compliment or accentuate their shapely figures, nor are they allowed to show their faces! For a woman to decide to become a pin up model or porn star in many cases is not only an act of liberation, it is also an act of SELF EMPOWERMENT! Sex SELLS! Why do you think somebody like MADONNA is still popular today? (I don't like her music personally, nor is she really a turn on for me personally, but I'm NOT blind)
Sex is a vital part of life, and the planet's survival. All living organisms procreate, and animals partake in the act of sexual relations in order to reproduce and carry on. Whatever your attitude may be, the fact of the matter is you are reading this blog and I am writing this blog because two people got together and had sex w/each other once upon a time. I think EVERYBODY on this site is smart enough to know that we weren't formed under a cabbage leaf, and that some magical stork didn't fly in the middle of the night through all winds and weather to deliver us to a parents door step. That kind of thing only happens in Disney movies. (A nice song, but it has no real base in reality)
I'll make a deal with you: Don't give me any lectures about dominant male privileges, women's liberation/oppression, human sexuality, or how the naked human body is a disgusting object that should be covered at all times, or how I'm a bad person for having a sexual imagination about the female human body, and I promise that I'll hide all the Hustlers, and won't subject you to my porn D.V.D. collection. (I'm NOT taking down my pin ups though. You just won't be allowed to go into that part of the house if such pictures offend your sensibilities)
Recommended authors: Camille Paglia
Dr. Alex Comfort (Yes, That's his REAL name!)
DON'T read "Ordeal" by Linda Lovelace! Before she died, she ADMITTED it was all a pack of lies, and she only wrote the book because she was on the verge of bankruptcy and was promised LOTS of money by anti porn zealots with a hidden agenda! Besides, EVERYONE involved with making "Deep Throat" have already stepped forward and set the record straight!
IMPORTANT: I WANT TO HEAR WOMEN WEIGH IN ON THIS ISSUE! (And please, NO Kathleen Hannah/Riot Grrl types! The LAST thing I need is another guilt trip! A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bike? Did you not pay attention to what I said earlier about SEX being the reason why you are able to read and respond to this blog?)
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For all the people in Ohio
DATE: 11/02/2012 02:49:36 / MOOD: angry
I just got done watching The Daily Show, and it has been reported that The State of Ohio, being a "Swing" state is getting bombarded w/political campaign ads on television all day, every day. It has been estimated that the television stations in Ohio are broadcasting 333 campaign ads A DAY! If there was ANY reason to avoid watching television THIS would be IT!
So........ it is for the poor souls in Ohio who can't leave for whatever reason and are forced to be subjected to this type of garbage that I share the following song with you.
If there's ANY saving grace, it's that by next Wednesday, these ads will finally be OFF THE AIR!
I am gross and perverted
I am obsessed and deranged
I have existed for years
but very little has changed
I am the tool of the government
and industry, too
For I am destined to rule
and regulate you
I may be vile and pernicious
but you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
with the stuff that I say
I'm the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I'm the slime oozing out from your T.V. set!
You will obey while I lead you
and eat the garbage that I feed you
until the day that we don't need you
don't go for help... no one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
and you will do as you are told
until the rights to you are sold
THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS! DON'T TOUCH THAT REMOTE!
Well, I am the slime from your video
oozing along your living room floor
I am the slime from your video
Can't stop the slime, people, look at me go!
("I'm The Slime" by Frank Zappa. Copywrite (C) 1974 Barking Pumpkin music. Liberties with the lyrics taken by Adam Rebelius)
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Cheetah, or Cheater?
DATE: 10/25/2012 04:54:19 / MOOD: bored
If you're an old timer like myself, you probably grew up listening to the song, "Search and Destroy" by Iggy and The Stooges, but what EXACTLY is the FIRST line it that particular song?
Well, I'm here to clear up that argument for once and for all: It's CHEETAH!
How do I know, you ask? Well I'll tell ya how I know!
You see, in 1976, when Iggy got out of rehab, was hanging out in New York City, and was working on "The Idiot" he gave an interview w/"Punk" magazine where he describes the situation and conditions that lead him to write that famous ode to annihilation. (This quote also appears on page 125 of the book "Please Kill Me" by Legs McNeil and Jillian McCain)
I won't quote the interview directly, but I'll give you the rundown of what was said.
As any fan of The Stooges know, there was a two year gap between the release of "Funhouse" and "Raw Power". During that time, Iggy had been discovered by David Bowie, and had moved to London. England to clear his head, and figure out what the next Stooges album was going to be all about.
While he was there, he used to walk around in the park nearby where he was staying wearing a jacket with a cheetah on the back. (I don't know if this is the same jacket he is seen wearing on the back cover of the Raw Power L.P. or not) At least once a day, while walking in the park, sometimes he would be mistaken for a gigalo or street walker. Rich old men would often come up to him and want to "Cruise" him as Iggy described it in the interview. At this time, this was the first in many times in his career that Iggy was trying to get off drugs, so he was also feeling pretty mean about life. In the interview he also talks about how he liked the song, "Heart Full of Soul" by The Yardbirds, which, if you've ever heard the song "I Wanna Know Why" by The Iguanas, Iggy's FIRST band, you could hear a similarity in song stylings. Iggy decided that he, at that moment in time, had a heart full of napalm.
All of this has inspired me to get out my jaguar jacket, my leopard print pants, go out and by a set of cat ears, and make a homed patch with a drawing of a heart on it and the word NAPALM written across it, and be "A Street Walking CHEETAH With a HEART FULL OF NAPALM" for Halloween. And if people I meet don't get the reference, I'll simply tell them that "I AM THE WORLD'S FORGOTTEN BOY! THE ONE WHO SEARCHES TO DESTROY!"
If I can find somebody to take a picture of me in costume over the weekend, I'll post pics. If not, you'll just have to take my word that it happened!
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The downside to blogs and forum posts. (An open apology to W.F. and Cos the Shroom)
DATE: 10/23/2012 05:15:40 / MOOD: other
First of all, before I start this blog, I encourage people w/an open mind to check out the online collaboration between "Witchface" and "Cos the Shroom" (AKA "Throat Gorge") on a song called, "Rape! Rape! Rape!" To my ears, it sounds like The Dead Kennedys, if they had been signed to RAPLH RECORDS, and that's a GOOD THING!
Witchface, or W.F. as I shall now refer to him, had posted a thread in the forum, promoting/bringing people's attention to his online collaboration of the song I just mentioned. Somebody had mentioned that they liked the song, but wish it had gone on longer, to which W.F. had made some comment about Pink Floyd. Well, anybody who knows me, and has read any comments I've made on peoples blogs and forum posts, knows that, more often than not, I have a bad habit of high jacking forum threads and getting way off topic, so in true Adam Rebelius style, I had made some comments and shared my opinions about Pink Floyd. This, of course resulted in somebody engaging in a dialogue with me about our personal opinions and interpretations of Pink Floyd and their music/lyrics. This seemed to upset W.F. a little, and he sent me a PM sharing his feelings. Since it was addressed to me privately, I won't share what was in the PM or quote any of it, or go into details. All I will say is that I am truly sorry if anything I said upset or offended you in any way, shape or form. For the record, I think "RapeX3" is a good song, but I think I've already said that with my encouraging people reading this to check it out. (Cos the Shroom has the Jello vocal stylings down pat, but I don't think it's deliberate or intentional. That's his natural voice, and that's just the way he sounds when he sings)
The problem with blogs, and forum posts, more often than not is that people tend to get off topic and high jack threads and blog responses to talk about subjects not germain to the original issue brought up. Everybody knows I'm notorious for doing so. Guilty as charged, your honor. But I'm not the only one that does it, and I wouldn't be surprised if somebody responding to this blog will do the same thing. I've seen it happen a lot, not only here, but on My Space when I used to have an account there, and for the brief time I was on Face book. (UGH! *Shudders*)
So to re-iterate, all I can say is I'm sorry for high jacking the forum and going off topic while you were trying to promote/bring attention to your collaboration w/Cos the Shroom. And I also hope that you sent the same PM to the person I was having a dialogue with on your post concerning Pink Floyd, because I think he should be told the same thing you told me. I feel it would be unfair to just single me out since we are BOTH responsible for our actions, and I'm willing to own up to my mistakes.
So, in short, sorry W.F., Sorry Cos The Shroom. Everybody else, check out "RAPEX3" by W.F. and Cos The Shroom on Sound Cloud.
And to the person I was having a discussion with concerning Pink Floyd: My interpretations and opinions about Pink Floyd's music after Dark Side of The Moon are my own. You are free to interpret their music and lyrics as you wish. What ever brings you enjoyment. It's just a friendly dialogue, so no hard feelings, eh?
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DATE: 09/19/2012 07:20:18 / MOOD: angry
I'm SOOOO Punk rock! How PUNK ROCK am I? Let me tell you....... I drive a Toyota because The Buzzcocks advertised it! (What do I get) I drink Sailor Jerry Rum because The Misfits advertised it! (Where Eagles Dare) I drink Budweiser Beer because The Ramones advertised it! (Blitzkreig Bop) I spread Country Life butter on my toast because Johnny Rotten is the spokesperson for it! I play Grand Theft Auto because Stiff Little Fingers advertised it! (Gotta Get Away) And I'm going on a cruise because Iggy Pop advertised it! (Lust for Life) And if I could remember what company used "London Calling" by The Clash to hawk their wares, I'd buy that too! I'm so punk rock, I let the multi-national corporations dictate to me what products to buy and use because they use all my favorite punk rock music in their adverts! :D Actually, if you haven't caught on yet, this is SARCASM! In some ways the use of these songs IS killing punk! On the other hand, when I see these commercials, and hear the music they're using, I feel vindicated. I used to get beat up quite often when i was in Jr. High and High School for listening to punk rock. I always got told that the music would NEVER amount to anything and that nobody would ever care about or even remember these bands! In some ways I AM getting the last laugh on them! However, I have to agree with Jello Biafra when he was interviewed in the movie, "Punk's Not Dead". He said that hearing those songs in these commercial wasn't going to go out and make him buy what was being advertised. Only that it made him lose respect for the band and like the song even less. As long as CRASS, The Dead Kennedys, GG Allin, and Oi! aren't used to advertise useless junk we don't want or need, then punk's NOT dead! (YET!) 9-13-9-19-19-2-21-15-15-25
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Just thought I'd share this with people
DATE: 09/17/2012 01:52:10 / MOOD: other
Before I start this blog I should explain what a "Rorshach" blotter is. They're quite easy to make, and sometimes, in grade school art classes this is given as an in class assignment. What one does, is take some paint, two colors, or more, let the paint drip on one side of the paper, fold the paper in half, and then press it. The end result is a picture that is left to one's own imagination. Sometimes it looks like a butterfly, sometimes it looks like a flower, sometimes it doesn't really look like anything cohesive, except in the eye of the beholder, or the imagination of the person viewing it. For some reason, many psychiatrists use Rorshach blotters in their therapy sessions to determine what is on a person's mind or what their thought process is. (I don't know how they can come to any conclusions, or why they do that, but that's not the point, and any further explanation will probably ruin the joke I am about to tell) Here's a joke. It's an old joke, but forgive me, I'm an old man. A man goes to a psychiatrist to get psycho-analyzed, and the doctor subjects the patient to the Rorshach test. Every blotter the man is show elicits the same reaction. He sees nothing but sexy women, and responds in kind to those feelings, often making comments, like, "Wow! She's hot!" "Does she have a sister?" and, "Hey doc, got her phone number?" and similar responses of that nature. At the end of the session, the psychiatrist says to the patient, "You are a pervert! You think about nothing but sex all day. You're girl crazy" to which the patient replies, "Hey, wait a minute, doc. I'm a pervert? Excuse me but YOU'RE the one showing me all the pictures of the sexy ladies, NOT the other way around!" Now I'm going to share with you a TRUE story, but I'm not mentioning any names, and I'm changing some of the details around, but once you read this story, you might understand why I just told you the joke I just did. Very recently, someone who was once a friend, and. incidentally, somebody who I STILL have HIGH RESPECT for had written me telling me that they were offended by the fact that I was sticking up for a vampire. I asked them who were they referring to, and they told me the name of the vampire in question. Now, I remember leaving a comment for this person a while back and noticed that the so called vampire in question had left a comment on their home page, so I looked through their list of friends, and, sure enough the vampire in question was on this person's list of friends. After pointing this fact out, this person tried to turn it around all on me and tried to make me the bad guy for going through their list of friends, I told them it was because of their PM that I went through their list. My message, by using the joke as a metaphore is this: DON'T complain to me about people you perceive to be a vampire, a werewolf, a boogy man, a martian, or a NAZI if that person happens to be in your list of friends! It doesn't reflect well on a person to do that! If you don't like that person DON'T ADD THEM! But DON'T add that person, and THEN complain that this person holds certain characteristics you don't like! Some people might take that as an act of hypocracy. (Although I still respect this person enough to hear THEIR side of the story, if they ever choose to communicate with me) And for the record, I DON'T care if people go through MY list of friends to see who is on it. My profile is NOT set to private, and I would not consider it an invasion of my privacy. If there is somebody on my list that you don't like, and that compels you to drop me as a friend, then so be it. There's simply nothing I can do about that, and since, this is the internet, and I haven't met most of you personally, (Although I hope to meet at least 75% of you someday under pleasant circumstances) I won't be insulted. When people friend me, I usually go through their list of friend before I make my final decision. If they are friends w/somebody I don't like or get along with, they don't get added. Simple as that. I expect the same treatment when I request somebody as a friend. Now, if I may change the subject, I'd like to talk a little bit about civility, respect, and pre-conceived notions. Just because a person is able to talk to somebody who they disagree with, or take issues with concerning their politics, or outlook on life and the world does NOT mean that they side with the party in question. Not by a long shot! People who claim they want a revolution, or want a tolerant world seem to be the ones who can be the most intolerant, sometimes becoming that which they claim to take a stand against. As the old saying goes, hate begats hate, when at the most extreme, one should be trying to convert the already preached to. It's easy to see the enemy and mark them, it's much harder to bring said enemy to your side. Of course you won't convert them, but maybe by using a little civil dialogue, you might find you have more in common than you realize. There is a self proclaimed White Power skinhead on this site. He has made no bones about his politics, his views on race, or what side he's on. Yet every conversation I've had with this person has, to this point remained civil. Hell, we've even joked with each other from time to time in the forums, and in responses to other people's blogs. Because we are both entrenched in our point of views, we have blocked each other, and he's even tried to bait me once or twice, but I've always managed to respond to his chidings in a civilized manner of fashion, and have even, from time to time where CRASS and Skrewdriver have run into parallels lyric wise. (I KNOW I'm going to get a LOT of grief for that last statement, but study the lyrics of BOTH bands, and sometimes they ARE saying the same thing every now and again weather you acknowledge it or not. Why do you think Mykal Board put out an E.P. called CRASSDRIVER back in the mid 1980s?) While I try to be civil and show respect, as much as his point of view disgusts me, people are quick to heap insult and scorn upon this person, and yet he has responded to the best of his ability with respect. Make no mistake, if the RAHOWA were to ever happen, (And I'm not sure it will in our life time) we'd probably pull guns on each other and find out who'd pull the trigger first, but I'm not the one calling him an inbred racist piece of scum. He KNOWS he's a racist and he takes full responsibility for that, and stands by the courage of his convictions. If there is ONE thing I can say in his favor it's that I RESPECT him because he is HONEST! He makes no bones about his viewpoints, and he doesn't mince words. As I've said, I don't like his politics, or his racialist philosophy. They make me sick to my stomach. But what do I gain if I go out nazi bashing? I tell you what I DON'T gain: An understanding of his side of the story or an understanding of WHY he holds those points of view! We'll never be friends. We've blocked each other, and I'm sure he probably doesn't like me very much. (Like I care what a WP skin thinks about me on the internet. I'd only truly care if I thought this person was an immediate physical threat to my safety and well being, which, at the moment, he is not) My communicating with him, or people like him, or people who hold an opposite viewpoint of mine DOESN'T make me complacent, or a co-conspirator, or an ally. Not by a long shot. And if you think it does, maybe you've already turned into that which you profess to stand against. Well, that's YOUR problem, NOT MINE! I have enough problems as it is. Like, for instance, why did I install a cat door, but my cat STILL insists that I open the door for her when she is perfectly capable of leaving the house whenever she wants to go out side with out my assistance? Also people who know me know that, while I don't always dress in black, and I actually DO take a shower once a week, weather I need it or not, I am a fan of CRASS, and tend to, at least philosophically, consider myself a bit of a crusty punk, but that doesn't mean that I can't find a sense of humor in life. A friend of mine from England a while back had written a blog about being a crusty which I thought was HILARIOUS. I had seen enough of the stuff he was making fun of with my own eyes that I got the joke, and commented that I thought it was funny. This resulted in somebody who takes everything so bloody seriously to label said person a "Failed wannabe rock star" and myself a "Someone out to please everybody". My friend KNOWS my point of view, and how I feel about life and politics, especially the subject of Anarchy. He also knows that I'm a huge CRASS fan. He, on the other hand, HATES CRASS. He also feels that, in a lot of ways the REAL glory days of punk happened between 1976-1979, and stopped listening to it when punk evolved into something new. I disagree with him on this, but we're friends, and respect each other's point of view, and he has a right to hold an opinion if he wants to. I LIKE what punk became after 1979 in both the U.S. AND England. I LOVE bands like The Exploited, Discharge, G.B.H. and the like, but I NEVER forgot what I was originally weaned on back in 1977 when I first started listening to punk. That fateful day of Valentines Day 1978 when I snuck off school grounds during lunch hour for the sole purpose of buying "Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols" changed my life FOREVER! And bands like The Clash (First two albums, at least) The Buzzcocks, and Eater will ALWAY have a special place in my heart. So will Black Flag, The Dead Kennedys, The Circle Jerks, The Germs, etc ad nausium. Why do we get along? Why do I call him my friend? Because we show RESPECT for each other's opposing viewpoints. We have taken the time to listen to one another and have agreed to disagree, and not let our differences get in the way of communication. I can understand why he hates CRASS. he actually KNEW them in REAL LIFE, so his dislike for them comes from the personal experience of having known them and hanging out with them. I'll listen to what he has to say and respect that view point, and whatever he may feel about CRASS doesn't stop me from liking their music, and putting into practice what they preach in real life as much as the reality of the present situation will allow me. (Heck, even I know a lot of what they talk about can be naive and a little misguided, and a lot of it won't work in my life time, but there are some goals worth striving for, but there aint no way I'm gonna give up wearing leather or eating meat if I'm hungry and am in the mood for an al pastor burrito, so nyeh! :p) So, if you're upset with me because I'm willing to be civil and polite to people that are openly racist, that some would label "Nazis" or people who hold an opposite point of view that I don't agree with, and I take the time out to listen to what they have to say, and try to understand their side, no matter how much I disagree with them, there's nothing I can do about what you think of me. I'm not responsible for your personal thought process, YOU are. Don't forget what SHAM 69 said in "If The Kids Are United...":Understand him, and he'll understand you!" Or if I may quote Stiff Little Fingers: If you couldn't be bothered, well then, my friend, you'll fall, and spend all the rest of your life in this emergency!" A PERSONAL NOTE TO SUE BUNNY: I just read your latest blog, and I am PROUD of you. I think it is great and noble that you have decided to further your studies as an x-ray technician and expand it into the field of Oncology. Considering the friends you've lost to cancer, I find your reasons very sound. I also think you are on the mark w/your remarks about smoking cigarettes. It's a filthy addiction, and i wish I could kick it. If you've NEVER tried a cigarette, DON'T START! EVER! I've been a smoker for a little over 30 years, and, even though I've never smoked more than half a pack a day in my whole life, it has made me short of breath. As a singer, this means when I go on stage, I can't play for more than 30 minutes. I HAVE to kick this terrible habit because it's getting in the way of my performing, it will eventually destroy my voice and vocal chords, and there's a LOT of stuff I COULD'VE bought with all the thousands of dollars I've wasted feeding a stupid addiction! Make no mistake! Cigarettes WILL KILL YOU! And it's NOT a pleasant way to DIE! (And everybody is more than free to call me a hypocrite and point out the fact that i haven't quit, YET, but 30 years is ENOUGH, and one day very soon I WILL quit FOREVER!) I wish you the best of luck in your studies, and hope you pass with flying colors! And I hope that one day we can put our differences aside, discuss things in a civilized manner of fashion, and be friends again, because, no matter what you may think of my, I still have nothing but love and respect for you, even if you think otherwise, and don't feel the same about me. As Aretha Franklin once sang, when she took an old Otis Redding song, and made it her own" R-E-S-P-E-C-T! Find out what it means to me!
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Another blog guaranteed to piss people off
DATE: 09/02/2012 20:14:03 / MOOD: other
A brand new store in New York City just opened up that sells HUSBANDS! Women who enter the store are greeted by the following sign: YOU MAY VISIT THIS STORE ONLY ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! IF YOU ARE UNSURE WEATHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO VISIT THIS STORE LEAVE NOW AND COME BACK ANOTHER TIME WHEN YOU ARE SURE THAT YOU ARE READY! THERE ARE SIX FLOORS IN THE STORE AND THE VALUE OF THE HUSBAND INCREASES AS YOU VISIT EACH FLOOR! YOU MAY CHOOSE ANY HUSBAND FROM ONE FLOOR, OR TRAVEL TO THE NEXT FLOOR ABOVE! YOU MAY NOT TRAVEL DOWN EXCEPT TO LEAVE THE STORE! CHOOSE CAREFULLY, AND HAPPY HUSBAND SHOPPING! One day, a woman enters the store to look for a husband. She goes to the first floor and there is a sign that reads, "These men have jobs". The 2nd floor sign reads, "These men have jobs, and love children". the sign on the 3rd floor reads, "These men have jobs, love children, and are extremely handsome" The sign on the 4th floor reads, "These men have jobs, love children, are extremely handsome, and help with the housework" The sign on the 5th floor reads, "These men have jobs, love children are extremely handsome, help with the housework, and are hopeless romantics who will shower you with flowers, gifts, and romantic nights out on the town" BUT..... if one were to ascend to the 6th floor, they would be greeted by a sign that says:YOU ARE VISITOR 31,456,012 TO THIS FLOOR! THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR! THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLEY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO SATISFY!......... Now, TO BE FAIR, SO PEOPLE DON'T THINK I'M BEING GENDER BIASED....... There IS a store across the streets that sell WIVES! The greeting sign is basically the same as the one in the husband store, only the word "Husband" is replaced by the word "Wife". The sign on the first floor reads, "All the women on this floor are supermodels and insatiable nymphomaniacs" The sign on the second floor reads, "All the women on this floor are supermodels, insatiable nymphomaniacs, and come from wealthy families" Nobody has EVER visited the four remaining floors in this particular store!
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