TRUE LOVE: Then Again... Maybe I'm Just High

By: The Undeniable Mood: Stoned Date: 11/21/2008 11:41:15 Music: Marilyn Manson: If I Was Your Vampyre

I had an unexpected visitor the other night. It was a friend I have known for many years. He is about 10 years younger than me and sometimes he comes to me for guidance. Talk about the blind leading the blind! ;) A good kid for the most part, but like all gay guys... He got some issues! ;) Heh-heh. Anyway, he is in this relationship and is thinking he might be loving this guy way more than he thought.

I fire up a bowl and he asks me, "How do you know when you are in love... Like really in love?"

"Well," I pass the bowl over and reply, "A simple and acceptable answer could be, 'To be in love you must be willing to give your own life for another.' However, I don't think that is true love...  Rather, I call that humanity.

"I agree." My friend passes the bowl back and nods, "I definitely agree with that."

I inhale and hold.

"Some of us have more of it than others."

I exhale, pass the bowl, sit back on my chair and say, "Humanity... Some of us have more of it than others, but I would venture to say, there are a lot of folks that would give their life for another... For example, look at those fine men and women who join the Armed Services to fight on behalf of our nation. Remember, all the kind people who gave their lives to save another during the attacks of 9/11. You see, I think to give your life for another is nothing more than showing humanity, not true love."

My friend has this look on his face like, "Damnit, I get it! Let's move on." He takes another big hit and passes it back to me.  With smoke rolling out his mouth like a small, impatient dragon, "Okay. Then what is true love?"

"In my opinion... Realizing true love could be like making a list of all the things you hate most about your lover only to find that those things really don't matter anymore...  Knowing true love is when you don't even need to make the list."

I inhale and hold while talking.

"Do not think of true love as expecting; Think of it as accepting. This romantic notion about "Mr. Right" or "Mrs. Right" is pure hogwash! You are the only "Right" you need in your life. When you stop looking to your lover to complete you and you start to complete yourself, then, and only then, are you able to truly love another. It's that expecting thing... It's like this, if you don't expect than you are never disappointed. I know that sounds rather bleak, but that's honest and realistic."

Finally, I exhale and we both laugh at the fact I said all that with my lungs filled with so much smoke.

I continue, "You know, in my relationship there is little expectation. Over the past six years, we have only had six or seven serious arguments. Every one of those arguments were because one- or both of us- had an expectation. What is interesting is when I do not expect from him and he does not expect from me, we meet each others' needs without ever having to say a word or to expect- even in the privacy of our own minds. I think that is true love, man. I really do."

We both kick back for a moment and let the smooth euphoria settle further in. I think to myself, "I should write this down. I think it really makes sense. Then again, maybe I'm just high."