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A FUCKLOAD OF WRITINGS : Some Stuff of Mine
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By:
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Dandy Jon
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Mood:
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bored
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Date:
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08/07/2008 21:35:12
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Music:
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Music
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A grand failure
You consist of fruit and lies, and the slave of your wage doesn't get me going , it never did, no I am not where I should be but take no notice of me if I pass you by
I am not who I should be because I am not myself because I've moved on, so many questions, I can't answer anything you ask of, but I can assume the role of the great grand failure if it makes you feel better, knowing you were entitled to this position since the day you were born
As of now and forever you can't ever speak the truth, truth be lost to a failure such as you, but love you I did, and I wont ever express it again, take no notice of me and what I do, let the demons sleep or else I'll awake them and set them loose on you
I am not who I should be, I was once a baby boy, sitting in the rain, collecting my sad thoughts, who am I and what can I do, can I kill some time for you, don't walk away, you don't know the things time can do, rape and ravage through the bones that surround the tired heart, who sleeps at night anymore?
You consist of coke and trampled shamrocks, veganism is a hate crime against your taste buds, I can't taste you, I can't feel you, your just a ghost that I never knew
A grand failure such as you, can never walk on by, selfish little liars, they parade so full of vanity
-Jon Powder-
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St.Paddy’s March (The Poet)
I’m not a sinner, not a saint, I never went to catholic school, but I’ve passed a few down this road, I’m not your average punk, I’m not your average kind of guy, I’m not the kind of guy you take home to meet mom, I’m not a sinner not a saint, I take what I give and I give what I take, I ring the bell, straight up to heaven and straight down to hell, walking down another spirng time street, another day to pass the time, so come along - come along
come along - for just a little while longer, come along, come along
I see the children in the playgrounds, making wars and settling scores, the sins of our fathers have come to past but still some children live in the past, the ignorance and bliss, the punk rock parade, St.Paddy’s day has come and the kids march the streets, singing "come along - come along"...We’re not sinners, we’re not saints, we bleed what we give we spill what we take, spitting seeds at one another faces and bodies, marching the streets, singing along to this punk rock song, singing along
"come along, come along"
the churchbells are ringing, down in the street, I’m not a catholic boy, but sometimes I wish I was, never went to catholic school, never went to church, but sometimes I wonder, what that life would’ve been like, but I see those war games, in the playground and I know that if I went to war, back when I was 7, I wouldn’t have been the same guy that I am today, from what I once was would have never been, so I walk around, in the spring-time grounds, humming along to my spiritual song, humming along
come along- come along
-Jon Powder-
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Arrive and Depart
(written about a strange dream I had)
I'm sorry if the crowd takes me away, with your hands on the glass, your on the other side of the looking glass, if you depart than my train arrives, and I'm taken away with those who have come into my life so sudden
I'm sorry if we didn't have all the time to say goodbye, and I see the regret in your eyes, but maybe it is time to go our own ways, and I'm sorry for not giving a proper goodbye, but you went your own way, with both hands on the glass, you never waved goodbye, you just looked on as I went my way
If you depart I have no choice to arrive and go my own way, if your a liar than I'm bi-polar and there's no harm in admitting all of this and that, manic goes our hearts when the train comes, you must depart if I'm to arrive today
I'm sorry, but it is time to go our own ways, this is my last goodbye, but I can't say it to you now because the crowd has come and now you depart and I will arrive, with your hands on the glass, so much regret has come your way
But it is time to say goodbye
-Jon Powder-
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Shuffle
Are you where you belong? Can you see it all, the sun, the glory, the waters flowing in the rivers, they come running through my veins, are you where you belong, when you step outside, cluttered footsetps of childrens feet, shuffle on down the avenue lane, are you where you belong?
So go on now, move along, you are not where you belong
-Jon Powder-
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Alone
See this poem, I don't have so far to go anymore, with your name written on my arm, no I'm not in love with myself, never was, so ego trips don't mean anything to me you see
See this heart, I had the numbers of the beast written on my skin, 777 has no holy rights when you don't believe, just like me, can I grab you and just fade away, lost in the night because I can't bare another night jerking off to thoughts of how things could be, because it doesn't feel the same anymore when I'm awake at night and all alone, I want what you gave to me, when I was looking into those pale blue fragile eyes
If you want to know the full truth, the story of my life has been set on fire because I can't bare to be without you, and I'll write myself to death if I can't pull through the brightness to see you, because I take comfort in the dark because I can't stand the nine to five blasphemy that has everyone's balls in a bunch, and sunshine doesn't mean a thing to me
I don't want to be alone, that is my deepest fear, I don't want to be alone anymore, this is how this man feels, in my purest and most raw emotion, this how I feel
I got nothing to hide, because I need you, my beautiful love
-Jon Powder-
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Sexuality
Every night, thoughts of you
Come flooding my body
Lost in you
And I can't help but feel this way
Entangled in your beautiful mess
Every night, with thoughts of you
Looking at the door
There is an exit to this human condition
But no matter where we go
We cant escape our skin
Our body
Our hearts and what they feel
Why are we scared?
Its only love
When it comes down to it
Its just the human touch
Its only sexuality
Hot and bothered
But its what we are
And its what we do
Did you ever look at what was and what could've been
With thoughts like these, and our future is overdue
Its only sexuality
But why does this pain hurt so bad inside
You gave in to
Those lonesome nights
Lonesome thoughts
Empty cries, better days
And better sighs
Every night, with thoughts of you
Lost in you
You got me tangled in this mess of yours
Whether or not you ever notice
I wanted to be the blow job king
When it came to your needs and wants
Its only sexuality
But it felt much deeper than those basic thoughts
And love scares us all
that's why we turn to one hand love
Instead of endless love and devotion to the partner we should trust
Fuck and run. Run and fuck alone
Always looking for the door
There is an exit to this manic state of mind
There is an exit to the human condition
But I know the end is never the end
We always find someone to sink into
And cave in and detonate
Short comings and long nights alone
One hand love and one night stands
Its only the human touch
The nature of arousal, the attraction (set to backfire)
Why are we scared?
Its only love
When it comes down to it
Its just the human touch
Its not just lust, and masturbation
Its only life
Heartache and short comings
But its what we are
And its what we do
Its how I feel
Its what I do
Its what I cant escape or deny
When I loved you
You turned away
Its only love
What are you afraid of?
Looking at the door
Looking at the endless nights alone
There is an exit to this human condition
But its an exit that kills us all
But no matter where we go
No matter what we do
We cant escape our skin
We can't escape what we feel
Our body
Our lives
Our hearts and what they feel
Our lives and what we do
Why are we scared?
-Jon Powder-
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Obscene
As I open up my wounds, will you feed on me, if I bleed enough, will you drink it up, if I tell it "like it is" will you gain respect for what I am and what I do, I'm not in the best of moods and I can't make it all sound so artsy, all I want to do is crawl under the covers and rest next to my love, but life's a bitch because he's off in the distance, I got to be this thing, the Dandy stands with fists wrapped up in skeleton gloves, as I open up my wounds, I give you the attitude that I always kept inside, it's time to unleash the beast because feeding is over and now let the obscene point of view from this gay punk homo-rocker electro-wanking nun be set loose, spitting daggers at those who've wronged me, who've lied to me, spitting daggers at the bastards that knocked me down, ascend- descend, I've done both, and if I can't do it like I once did before, than so be it, sometimes you have to change your shoes because the roads get rough and seasons come and seasons go, I'm still the same
I'm not whispering, I'm shouting, I'm bleeding, I'm fighting, I'm loving, I'm fucking, I'm sleeping, I'm crying, I'm speaking to your soul, don't turn away when you've come this close
-Jon Powder-
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In the End
You, the perfect beauty, so still in the sun, winter has come undone, walking to and fro, from city to country, the road goes from narrow to straight, in the end, at the end of your life, you see faces and smiles of friends and distant family, closer or far, at the end of the day
you are all that you have, you are all that you need, you are all that you have, you are everything it seems
You, the lonesome hero, playing the cards without hesitation, so sullen and cold, you keep walking away, but every time you try to turn, the direction you seek, always points to me
SO fuck you destiny, we hold no solace, solace can't be given it can only be earned, so let me out of this black cold room, where I can feel the cold chains of dead romance, pulling me down, pulling me through, the razor cold of a winters passing, at the end of the day, I am where I was when I awoke, cold and distant on a gutter punk bed
and you, the beautiful beast, with rapture so pure, screaming inside, at the end of the day, what do you love, you know only fear, you know only pain, you know only emptiness,and endless denile, so you turn to me , what can you love, who can you love, what can you love if you can't love yourself?
you are everything you need, and than some it seems, so sad, but you claim it as truth, running away from the love that was shown to you, you ask for second chances and third whirlwinds and through all of this, the rapture came undone
so fuck you destiny, let me out of this cold cold room, I want out of this cold place, where my slumber sleeps so awake, while my dreams scream out, for peace of mind, so mind this, and you shall see
at the end of the day, you are all that you have, regardless of comfort, regardless of love, you are all that you have, inside your shell
-Jon Powder-
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The Dandy Arcane
I am not some spirit of the time, no joke, I come from the darkness and I can't survive with all of this apathy, spitting venom on the graves of my past lives, I am not some kind of light to guide you home, fuck the goodness if you can't see the light on your own, it burns my eyes so don't aggravate me, when I sit here and try to find a feeling inside this skin, and masturbation just has no time for me
Sing a song until your story becomes whatever it is you are singing, play the game until you become the played, and here I am, spitting up blood, because the world has shit on me, and I need an umbrella, cuts and sctraches all over my backside, my good side has since retired and I am now the shadows hiding in your room, spreading the doom and gloom, not giving a fuck if it drives you mad, up and down the walls, pisstake keepsakes and jerk off when you think your all alone, the ghosts will haunt you when I can't
Arcane and glowing heavenly sick lights, blink me into life, never close your eyes, The Dandy comes swiftly and the rapture soon follows, with hymns and poems telling you how fucked you really are - on the inside of coarse, where the heart turns sour and piss is pumped into the veins instead of your blue blood cells, so don't tempt me when I sit here against the wall, facing the corners, with a pen and paper and knowing everything that you thought I didn't know, so fuck me my dearest lover because I need your tender grasp, your tender kiss, give me your force of nature fuck because that left me breathless, and after I'll sit there, after, learning how to play guitar so I can sing a song
A song that speaks to you and me, and this life can be so hard, and this life can go and suck my balls for all that I care, because as much as I could care less about the world that surrounds me I still have to put in context that you are where you are and I need to get my angst ridden ass off the ground and be where you are, so I can set suburbia on fire with one match and one mad stare
It's just me, nothing else, it's me with this attitude and empathy just has no time for me, when I see the death march - all the twink plastic men and all of the republican people, having tea and spreading themselves open, to show how much they have in common, all hollow and no substance, I know I'm being crude but fuck it, learn to suck it up and grow a pair if you don't know how to take a joke, ha ha
So to hell with it, it all goes up the ass of some lost soul somehow, some way, it's not so painfull, it's nothing new, just delayed irony
And I wish that I could parade the streets of the free, with my sense of humanity, what a trip it would be
-Jon Powder-
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And The Demons Sing
Blessed are the weak
Sing that prayer, but you better beware
Every shattered note you sing
Comes a consequence
There is a void coming from the ocean
Ready to suck you up
I never hid my demons
I took them, embraced them
And the demons sing
Demonology and verses from the bible
I got my life set afire
Ready to let go of desire
If the end really is the end
Struggle no more
Blessed are we
Blessed may it be the last time we all see
The light that never goes out
Tilted towards another direction
The water is deep, going past our heads
Breathing under the water
Choking on mortality
And the demons sing
Blessed may they be
From the perspective of the theoretical believers
Colonists and satirists
Saturnine skies, under that
The demons sing this song
That was given to you and me
Sing along, come along and see everyone
Sing along to this time bomb, detonation destination
Sing the song, we've all come along to see the deathly parade
Marching towards the ocean
If the end is the end, than close your eyes
But the candle never gets blown out
Whether or not if the water rises or descends
Beliefs or make believe
Theoretical or rhetorical
Whatever you believe or deceive
Blessed are the meek
With melancholic voices
Humming along to the song that repeats and reprises
The water rises
The ocean takes you whole
You sing
And the
Antichrist sings
And the
Angels sing
And the
People sing
And the
Animals sing
And the demons sing
Good god, the fallacy sings!
Good god!!
Are we the living dead?!!!
-Jon Powder-
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The Liar's Den
There is not enough dick out there to suck to make me want to cheat, I'm loyal to the core, there is not enough hate in me to make me want to pull my triggger and shoot my germ all over the most degenerate soul, yes, I'm having a dark moment, but if you turn up the bass and play that electro punk than you might see my sense of humour come sliding in, like a Nun on sunday, you know she's wanking to the sound of the underground punk scene, Audio Bullys and Peaches give me hope, hope for a more real and raw world, let the electro fuck your soul, I got no more time to waste so put on your record and show no mercy, your not here for show, there is not enough free will to make me not want to be myself, and if I could, I'd pump myself with the beats so deep isnide this empty shell, turn up the bass and let me get lost in this sound, so surreal, I'm clean when I have to be, I'm gritty to the core if you like it, I'll give you more, to the man I love, to the life I give, to the song I have to sing, speak it don't just think it, there is not enough sin to take in to make me a saint, there is not enough love to keep inside this shell so empty, the liar's den is not where I'll be, fakes and the wannabes linger, haters can go and sit back with their indie rock look, with the boots, the scenesters, the false punks with radio friendly anthems of teenage constipation, turn that shit down, blast the audio, let them bullys take you down
raise your fist, close your eyes and fall back, there is not enough lust to make me want to cheat, my zipper remains unzipped, it only opens up for my lover when I'm in heat and in need of his life and love and punk rock armageddon
-Jon Powder-
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Christopher
Sitting there, with memories
That make you laugh and sigh
Curse those days, but they still reside
Inside that heart you keep inside
Good natured, kind and caring
Dear Christopher, why have you wept those tears?
Looking at seasons come and go
Ready to move on, but the past still calls
I know how that pain feels, deep inside
The yearning and wanting, soft angelic snow
Falls down on you, when you walk and ponder
What's yet to come
Christopher, lets go walking in the snow!
My dear friend, come sit here for a while
Lay there and take all the time you need
To get past those hurtful thoughts and feelings
You got the sun shining inside of you
My friend, you have but to ask anything if you need
Or want anything, writing this poem
I look at how it is and how it could be for you
Dear Christopher, so great to meet you, so glad to know you
Come walk in the snow, poetry knows no boundaries
When I write for you
Christopher, so glad to know you
Good natured, kind and caring
My dear Christopher
-Jon Powder-
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Shambles
Sleepless in vain
Excessive restless destinations, far out of reach
Inside the dreams
As I awake
To sorrows of better days
Better rays of sunshine, shining through that window
Shovelling coal inside my head, yearning
But never closing my eyes
Insomniac talk
Rambles and shambles, ruthless eyes still looking
Peering into sadness
And getting lost inside my own madness
I write this down
And lay my thoughts to sleep, with chainsaw prayers
Cutting my tree of life into splinters and dust
Screeching like banshees, just lay my dreams inside the hearse
And carry them away
In shambles
Rattling the chains of cold bitter days, wide awake dead
Restless inside my head
A good days sleep
Is always out of my reach
Vampire Boy
-Jon Powder-
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Don't Channel Me
Spoken word can be revolution, just look to Saul Williams, the great revolution can be Hot Chip if you let it in your system, everywhere I go, the kids just want to channel me, with the questions of who I am and what do I have, what do I want, what can I do to save the world, I take no part in the society that you take part in, give me underground rock, underground electro, give me underground culture and I'll give you something to think about
Revolution is not a choice, just look at the kids these days, lost souls with nothing to do, we can rebuild, because this is not the end, we carry on, changing the sounds, fuzz-tone guitar and six string bass, revolution will be televised and American Idol will be the first to go, with the industrial manic meltdowns, the scenes will emerge to take back their dignity, iTunes is not the world, but it's getting there
Don't channel me, if you don't have a clue, don't channel me, if you don't know what to do, don't channel me with the pretty boys, the pretty girls, word up to Miss Kittin - Frank Sinatra can indeed suck my dick and lick my ass, motherfuckers are indeed so nice, Slap the PA sticker on my mouth because to be out there in the real world is a true wonder, and why water yourself down with such sad misanthropy, I haven't been around the world, but I've seen my fare share of chaos, and if I'm getting too obscene, honey just know that I meant no harm, it's just that my mouth is a weapon, I have a voice and I'll make some use of it, no more 'please' just fucking give me my free speech now, spray paint my soul all over the walls, don't channel me if you have a conservative point of view, if I'm not your cup of tea
Choke on it
-Jon Powder-
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Existentialism Carrots
To and fro
You go, go on
To and fro
Infinite madness always creates sadness
Melancholy blues
Revolutionize this heart of mine
Sipping raspberry juice from a wine glass
I drink no alcohol or wines
The glass just looks good in my hand
To and fro
You, you ho
Always going and doing whatever
Like a 20th century movement, like a dandy
Such as me, without the guns and poetry
Just for show
Existentialism, eating carrots
And sucking the life out of the art you claim to create
To and fro
Off you go
Fucking ho
To and fro, go
Just go
-Jon Powder-
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Jew-Boy
They got no right
To take your rights away
Hitler never died, he lives on in their ignorant hearts
Its time to fight back
Fight back and take them on
You hear their calls of hatred
And you see their acts of prejudice
Lay down and see the fireworks explode in the sky
Lay down and watch the sun set
For another day
May we rise with strength to endure
They got no right to nail you down
To the cross of their destruction
Neo-Christians and neo-Nazis
Pride and prejudice, for the better tomorrow
They cling to the words of written long ago
They use those words for their owns needs and mutilation
Calling you names like 'Jew-Boy' or 'faggot'
They go no rights to say such things
Smashing mirrors of you're own self esteem
They got no right to tear you down
You want to live
Where the hatred is unknown
Where the ignorance is inexistent
Those saturnine hearts never shine
With those stereotypes shouting slurs and pestilence
It seems like Hitler never died
And what a sad fucking thought that is
-Jon Powder-
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Gritty
So you have it, so it shall be, a gritty poem, a gritty smile, a gritty point of view, and so you have it, another angst ridden point of view, to look at , to discuss, to displease, to delight, a gritty poem, a gritty look, another passage in another sob story, of another 21st century cockroach, gritty as it may be, life is life, up or down, side to side, gritty or clean cut
whatever comes your way, live it, or be cast aside for real people who have no choice but to live their lives head on
-Jon Powder-
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The Separation of Church and Jon
I don't mean to say this just to offend you
I don't mean to say this to tear you down
But the church is just something that means nothing to me
Sunday masses sitting on their lazy asses
Instead of helping the sick and the poor
They create laws and create rules that we all must obey
Anti gay
Anti human rights
Anti human beings
So sorry if this offends you young lad
But I don't go to church
And don't expect me to sit there
For a few hours, hearing how I'm going to burn
In a fabled hell created by bigots a few centuries ago
Sorry if this offends you
But read these agnostic lips of mine
"I have no use for you"
I'm not against your beliefs but please keep your mouth shut
I don't follow your flock of sheep or seagulls
Give or take, shuffle your deck of cards, gamble and spend your life
Questioning your footsteps, ponder where you came from
Look no further than your fathers balls, don't look above or below
Humorous you may think but its just genetics, not a stork
Or makeshift fable
I'll awake from your nightmares
Of Armageddon and baptism, I'll awake from your curses
And shout at the mirror cursing my life lived in sin
Mirror
Mirror
On the wall
Forgive me my father, but I do not care for your words
I'm not ignorant, I just have ADD, and I never met you before
So your preaching matters not to me
I don't mean to offend you but I don't go to church
Get a torch and I'll show what I intend to do
If you keep on opening your mouth and preaching your beliefs to me
The separation of church and state should remain that way
And why does church get such high royalties
And why does church have any say in what I do or play
I got my rights to live any way I choose
You go tell this to your mass, lose your soul to the drowning flock
But its up to you if you want to live that way
With their preaching's and mistreating
Their anti gay
Anti human rights
Anti human being teachings
And yes I know about some gay friendly churches
But give or take you still wont ever catch me there
I'm not starving for salvation anytime soon
And Hell on Earth seems like a joke if you look outside
And take a good look around
I don't mean to offend you
But a church is just a building
I don't mean to offend you but I can't waste my time
In praying to the clouds, hoping that some star will shine my way
I got a life and I'll get to my destination on my own
Sure I got faith, but my faith is in myself
If I don't believe in what I do, than I don't got a chance in this world
I don't mean to offend
But I don't waste my time with church
It's just not for me
And it never will be for me
So just shut that bible and preach to someone else
Read these lips of mine
"Shush"
-Jon Powder-
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One Less War To Die In
Burn me like you burn those children
Rape me like you rape the world
Stand above me and show your body count
Sing your songs and write me off
Praise your lord when you drink from my heart
I got my dark moments
And I got my light to share
I got my time
And I got my nightmares in my head
If only this hole could be deeper
I'd take you all down inside it
Give you shade to hide your
Burning hot white lies
Burn me like you burn your rights
Take me back to Edmonton
So I can see how much damage has been done
To this cold human being that you see
Staring back at you
Underneath this skin
The nerves are shot, the sun shines down
But I can't reach out
And take it in
You see the harm that you've done
When I fall back down
Happily going down, falling back down
The people all fall in
One less war to die in
Take me back to the streets of Edmonton
Where the noose I made
Years ago
Can be found still in that tree
Waiting for me
Patiently
And I see the war that was made
In the eyes of crumbling children
With flame and blood on their minds
Walking a death march on the school grounds
Feeling the rush go to their heads
Burn them like you burn the world
See the black and white scene, this endless film
Document the suffering
And sell to someone who gives a shit
And call yourself a hero
When truth be told
All heroes get shot down
All get taken down
With one less war to die in
So take me down
Into the darkness, that hole
That was dug deep into the ground
Where I can collect some shade
And give it back to the night
If only we could all get some self control
Maybe than we can look up into the beautiful sky
And hope that all of this pain is over and done with
With hopes of
One less war to die in
One less bullet to be taken out of
The children you sent out to play
Ready for combat
Ready to be taken down
Take me back to Edmonton, so I can collect my thoughts
This life, it's relentless
-Jon Powder-
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Hellish Quality
What more can I say
When its all been said and done
I'll play it right, play it how you want me to
A man with time to kill
Been raped by time repeatedly
With a switchblade to tell my tales
Of endless redemption and desolation
Let's walk home now
We got time to keep
Keepsakes to dismember
What more can I say now
What more can I do
Go on now, you tragic figure
Tragedy with a smirk and a giggle
You can't be set free, freedom
Is not a choice among men
What more can I say
When murdering time is all that we ever do
Blood stained children are we
With our tragedies written down for all to see
I'll play it right this time, I'll play it true
A boy with time to rule
With a dark coat to cloak me from the norms
Such hellish quality when all I ever wanted
Was some peace of mind
And some time to waste
But wasting time is all that everyone does
So I need an escape route
And a path to tread, where
My good impressions are left to be pondered
By the bitches and bastards of regular day to day
Sedation
You say I'm manic
But I say other wise
I just know my standard amount of time
I know, I know, I know
What more can I say
What more can I do
Detonate like a time bomb
Taking time and making some use of it
-Jon Powder-
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For Chad
They'll succumb to their own demise one day
If only time could speed up to catch up to them, with their crimes
What they've done to you, what has happened to you
You'll walk away, knowing who you are
And what they've done
The echoes of a song, you quietly sing
Shame, upon them all, shame
The cobwebs gather, like a storm ready to be unleashed
Home is not what it used to be, nor was it ever really home
The years you spent, in teenage hell, have passed on
And they'll succumb to their demise one day my friend
Shame upon them all, shame
The echoes of a fragile voice, the song you sing
A lonely choir boy, singing a song that comes and goes
Shame to them all, just cold hearts, bleeding poison all around
Speak in Gaelic, those words you learn along the way
Go back to home today, is it where you truly belong?
They'll succumb to their own greed one day my friend
Their own self disgust and hatred can only get them all so far
And what they've done to you, is unspeakable, is shameful
As a boy, you once were, now a young man, with so much hurt in your eyes
I know where you stand, and as a friend, I'll never miscount you,
Never leave you behind
Shame, upon them all, my friend, shame
-Jon Powder-
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Endless War
There is an endless war inside your heart, where the bombs get dropped and your self esteem falls apart, see the anarchy inside these eyes, anarchy is an art and I am it's subject, painted and drawn, shaded and smudged
March along the tired streets, where teenage idiocy is all but spent, your kids are telling lies and you just supply their endless greed, lock them up and throw away the goddamn key, there is an endless war no matter where you go, suburbia is in flames and the city is next, country after country your all asleep, hear the Irish pub song and let it speak, buy me another drink because irony comes in threes and right now I've lost count on how many times the irony has been on repeat
There is an endless war inside the heart, the soul has been erased and the end is never here, nor there, or anywhere, march and march the broken streets, cut your feet on the glass of broken homes, feed the fodder because you think it makes your smarter, feed the fooder because you think it makes you stronger
Take your life given ways and strike your hatred down, and take no part in what everyone else says is the modern and fascist way of living, this isn't life, this is all - lies, there is an endless war inside the heart, everyone makes a choice, with what to do, and everyone goes their own ways, in the end, there is no end
The war goes on, casualties on parade
-Jon Powder-
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Honest Words
Hateful words, succumb to spite, spite me and spite yourself, drink the poison down, your choice not mine, such beauty like you can only go so far, no beauty can ever reach the skies, sky high and fall down below, where salty dogs like you belong, weep not for the sorrow that has come your way, you lit the torch so let the embers burn out, burn out my friend
I can't look back in anger because those feelings are still the same like it was when I first felt them, I don't know you anymore, but did I ever, who are you and what do you stand for?
I'm not dead inside but I feel it from time to time, your lies won't tear me down, I know what I've seen and I know where I come from, ignorance can be bliss if you let it inside your heart, but it won't last, it never does, it won't sell your life's story to anyone, I don't buy it, it's not the truth, I'm not hollow, but sometimes I feel it, when will the Sunday boys come to claim me, brother in arms, ready for war, the streets are wet from the rain, the Sunday boys with their fists ready for a punch or two, later for drinks and guitars and drums, bass lines and vocals and violins
What goes inside the heart always stays inside the heart, from this French-Irish-native boy, black hair and brown eyes, can't tell a lie because lies can't tell me, know me, read me, where has the Sunday boys gone to? The catholic dark masses that family comes from, under Christian reign, this agnostic skin is bleeding through the darkest of days, the streets are empty and I have grown up, but the rain still falls, wishing I was 14 again walking around with you salty dogs, so careless and free, with no religion to keep us down
And where is that lover, the one who I once claimed myself to, he's gone and so I shall move on, for my real true love has found me when I least expected it, the boy who I once was, is now a young man, resting my head on my true love's shoulder, no false lover can ever scorn me now, no false love can ever reach out and break me, walking around the heart of my true lover wrapped around my heart - so intertwined, but... under a sky of American reign, I'm not American and so I won't be tied down to the red, white and blue whips and chains of the Fascism and Terrorism of the patriot men and women and children of the Land of The Free, patent pending laws and humbled flags and fags, held down to see the error of their life-given ways
Born in another land, but my love, with what I've seen and what I've been through, America is not the world and it's not big enough to keep me down, and so I reach out now and pull you through the void of right wing and religious rules that kept you down, and we shall raise a glass or two and celebrate our engagement when we know deep inside that these feelings we feel are okay and right, with a ring for you and a ring for me, these honest words that are spilling out of me are for you, us salty dogs sitting in our room, on the bed listening to Flogging Molly, getting lost in each other's eyes, we were born distant and lost, but we found each other in such hateful times, with such hateful words spilling everywhere
Such honest words I say, can only be said to the one I love, where I come from and what I've seen, what you've been through and what you've felt, you know me so well, I don't even have to speak or say anything, but I still do
I still do
-Jon Powder-
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Like a Billy Bragg song…
So here we go again
The world is going to hell, but take some time
And talk with me
Hey there, I'm not just some arrogant prick
Wasting time and always sucking dick
I got my good sides and my bad sides
My faults are my own and the mistakes that I've made
I do admit them
So don't turn away with that pride in your eyes
Because you don't rise above me, your eye to eye
Face to face, with someone who's come a long way from home
I'm not here to substitute for anyone, not here to speak on anyone's behalf
So go grab a chair and sit with me
We'll talk about anything and everything
Fuck the world, but with humour we'll curse
So here we go again
Life is going to shit
But before you spit and yell
Just sit here with me and let it all go to hell
We'll find some common ground and
Like a Billy Bragg song, I'll speak to you with heart
Lets go and walk around, we'll go and scare the conservatives in town
With humour of coarse
So here we go again
Life is free, life is scorned, life is held down
And with whatever strikes you down
Get up and look around
Because you can't down the man and woman for so long
Conservatives can't keep it all tied down
And like a Billy Bragg song
The truth will be heard
So sit here with me, before it's time to go
To get lost in the world, before the bombs rain on down
Sit here with me for a while
And talk
-Jon Powder-
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Snotty Punk Boy
I pledge no life to the flags you make me bow to, but I bow down enough to moon the crowd that is behind my behind, you say you got to put that flag up in the air for all to see because you are showing the symbolism of your freedom, what an excuse for an excuse to show how facsist you've become, democracy? ha!
You are, we are, I am, nothing, nowhere, just face it, let's face it, the political agenda is just a laughing manner because they are all going to kill us all one day
one day, hey-hey-yay-yay!
So you say you got the right to choose, but the rights were never menat for you, only the upper class snobs, living in their fallacy, the pounding of drums when we march down the streets, human rights, gay rights, our right to live, straight people, gay people, people are people, open your fucking eyes, I pledge no life to those flags, while they burn in my eyes, I seek no path towards those walls and chains and false liberty, guns shoot, fireworks go off, the streets are crowded with the people and the protest posters, the sounds of shotguns, the barking of dogs, the stars taking hold of the power of the people - sold out, bought out, the protest song comes to a halt
Snotty punk boy, with a heart set aflame, made to be ashamed of standing up for his rights, open your eyes, wider my brother, open them up and see the world for it is and for what it can be, open up your pants and let your love run free, what a disgrace the power of the people has been sold to MTV, snotty punk rock boys and girls, the boy toys and the cell phone girls, what a revolution it will be when the power gets handed to these wasted young moderns
Downloaded and shared, I hope the raptures comes, and I hope it can be downloaded on iTunes
-Jon Powder-
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Aaron
It took me so long to see, the love that was in front of me, softly spoken, you whisper sweet words to me, writing words this way - I just can't find all words to describe how much you mean to me, hey pretty eyes, you mean the world to me
I went the distance for the right person, I went the distance because this feeling was true, no road can ever be too long to travel for me to get to you, no land is too big enough to walk across to get to you, when I say I love you
I mean it with every word, with heart and emotion given and taken, with every beat my heart makes, here I am today, when I saw you with your boyish smile, blushing and shy beyond charm and sweetness, when I saw you there looking back at me, you look so beautiful, my love
I love you
-Jon Powder-
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Catholic Blood
Is it done, have you led me astray? Did you carve out your name on this skin and walked away? The silence of the night is all that I hear, while you walk away and don't hesitate...
I have walked endlessly just to see where I've been, and to see you at the end of the road, was a vision that I couldn't erase, from this heart so frail, but you stopped and you went another way, the words of your Father and Mother have torn you apart, and just do as you do because you've ran out of words, spinless it seems, but I guess you have no other choice
The blood that I bleed is catholic indeed, but no water has fallen to cleanse this mind, body and soul, I ran free from that spell many years ago and the father and son and holy ghost is just a corporate beast that is forever feeding in the weak and those who are willinmg to get swallowed whole, and while you go about your Christian ways, I look away and I walk, to escape from what I know isn't real, inside this mind, thinking endlessly
I walk endlessly, these agnostic bones can only go so far beore I collapse and break apart, and all that I ask is for you stand up, get up and get out, run away and think
who's life are you living, who's heart do you want to break and make, and be a part of, this blood that is inside, is starting to pour, against my own will, and in your silience I have bled, and I bleed yet again
catholic blood, spilled...
on a cold christian yard
-Jon Powder-
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The Parting Glass
Where has the writing gone to? It's still here, just taking time is all and everything, where has the Dandy gone off to? Still here, just lingering is all, the art still speaks, but right now it is murmuring, lightning still shoots from this pen if I desire it when I scribble this gibberish down, humour is what is keeping me sane right now, haven't written much down since Minneapolis, I'm missing Aaron and I don't want to write down deep dark depressing poems right now, It's just taking some time to channel these emotions, music has come to keep me company, when I needed a blanket the most, thank fuck for music, The Pogues-Smashing Pumpkins-Audio Bullys-City and Colour-Rocky Votolato-The B52s-Alkaline Trio-Rufus Wainwright-Pansy Division-The Ramones-The Jesus and Mary Chain-Heavens-Bauhaus-The Most Dangerous Race-Aqualung-Dropkick Murphys-Flogging Molly-Mogwai-The Streets-Elliott Smith-Miss Kittin-Hot Chip-Billy Corgan-Pixies-Morrissey-Brad Sucks-XTC-Leftover Crack-The Cure-Neverending White Lights-My Bloody Valentine-The Dresden Dolls-The Dubliners-FEAR-Joy Division-Saul Williams....gimme that punk, because that punk rock will always save me when I need to be saved, I need a case of ice cold dr.pepper, and maybe a nice grilled steak, some comfort food, minty ice cream perhaps? The Parting Glass by The Pogues, this song has been stuck in my head for a while now, The Pogues covered this song the best methinks since this is an old traditional song, Irish Punk - my salvation, Hearing Shane sing on The Parting Glass, such redemption, right now, I need this so much, the parting glass, I need to start my 7 hour writing session, it has been a while, and so I shall go back to my old ways when it comes to art, because art is the only way for me to exist, and now I will begin again...
"Goodnight and Joy Be With You All"
-Jon Powder-
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America
On a bus, to nowhere, where my heart can rest when I feel dead and alive, All the people stare if you despair, all the bullets cry when the patriot dies, O Americana - the great burden dived we stand so untrue - for you, Bite and scratch, fight and bleed, On the road to another place where I can collect some space
Some time to kill, for another tragic thrill
Do I give it all, just to destroy the crosses you took forever to erect on your front yard, see the stars on that ripped flag, grab a gun, do in some fags, no pun taken for a joke not heard, do I surrender to the day and say everything will be okay? We're never going to devour all that there is to be taken, do I give just to surrender my all
Pumped full of pills and dead inside with tragic thrills, O Americana do we stand tall - so broken down and lost on the inside, just for you? We - the world surrounded, all fed up with lies fed by you, we- the world - one and all, looking lost so dead and used, all that you've abused, when will you wake up and look around, so dead and tired
Divided we are, standing lost in the path of destruction, my arms are tired, I collapse on the streets of the free, because it's too much to fight for, too much to give to
-Jon Powder-
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Still Beat for The Devil's Song
All Saints Day comes too soon
pipe along, play the fife
the requiem (the devil's song)
and so there I go (American Gothic to and fro)
under a mask of culture and folk songs
tales of Angels and Saints, Lovers and Follies
sweeping all hope and hate under the rug
getting ready to dance for one last time
an american gothic with no beginning or end
still beat the tribal drums, the violin set aflame
when the darkness came to take the hand of the light
dancing to the still beat of the Devil's song
the Devil's night
All saints day comes too soon
-Jon Powder-
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What can a young man do?
What can a young man do?
When a war rages on inside his skin and bones
Good God, if you exist, where has your good grace gone?
If atheism is where it's at, than I'll close my eyes
Take a deep breath and walk around, to the destination unknown, guide me home, if home is where life is at
What can a young man do, to save the world from breaking into two
Do I forgive those that have come my way and left me for dead
What can a young man do, when the war rages on
Inside the streets, when you sleep, the people fight
Inside the walls, surrounded by apathetic feelings
If the good grace of a dead God is now all but spent and gone
Than let's just get up and look at the roads of freedom
Take leave with what you can carry
What can a young man do, when war rages on
Inside his body, making choices without thinking twice
Pride is a killer to each generation, past and future
Always today, so take leave my sons and daughters
Go towards the light, take leave
What can I do to help you, when the war rages on inside your heart?
Silently weeping inside, when rain
Drowns out your heart and soul
What can a young man do, when life goes through
His heart and soul and mind
When war sings no hymn for peace
He can't do nothing but stand tall
Stand tall and collect his thoughts
And wipe those few scattered tears away
For pride is a killer to every generation
-Jon Powder-
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Pop Star Shit Pile
Don't cop the attitude if you don't have the balls or heart to back it up, don't cop the bullshit because of your own insecurity, I've had it up to here with these plastic people, running the show like they got something to prove
All these motherfuckers around here - they got something to buy - something to own, don't step on my path because you can't get into my shoes, took me years to get them to fit this way, don't cop the attitude if you been playing' it safe for so long - you'll get fucked up if you step out of line –
Money means power in this world of white politics, money is nothing if power is corrupted - in the first place, people getting' sick with high bills and pressure, don't go copping the attitude if your heart spits bullshit and propaganda that no one wants to hear, change the channel before the channel changes you
I still got a scratch that needs to bleed it's own story, so don't go preaching to me about your simple Sunday plan because I don't go on my knees for praying anymore
So where the hell is heaven now? Heaven was sent to hell because the cost of living high has become so low and out of reach, you got to pack it up and go somewhere else, because the cost of playing it safe has never been so cheap and free, you have to fake it up in order to get by, so step aside if you can't ride that train if your life goes on derail, don't cop the attitude if you sell your soul for a little fame and glitter and plastic lifestyle
Don't sell me something cheap motherfucker, I've never felt this young in years, sell me life once again, this life is spent and gone, change this channel before it changes you
-Jon Powder-
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A Suicide, Some Screams, Life and Everything You've Seen
Help, is on the way, awake with a sleeping desperation, Close your eyes, hear the bullshit from people, in the night, put on your headphones, hear the noise, close your eyes, with your hands around your ears, you come from a home that isn't broken on the outside, the inside screams desolation and hurtful torment where people smash the walls and doors, you sleep to escape, but it's always days and nights awake and left alone to cry
A boy, who never had no harm come his way, covered in tears and scratches, cuts and sadness, save my life he cries, broken down and looking for life to hold to and keep inside the wound, is there any life to suffice, torn down inside for being gay, inside the school, during the day, do you spend your days writing down words of inner thought to occupy the time, as it rolls on by and by and by
Hold on, just hold on again and again, looking around, keep the noise and art to minimal, look around and hold on again, hear the cop sirens come and go, the noise will fade, help is on the way, awake with a sad desperation, holding a knife and looking at a mirror, a suicide and some screams, the life you never lived and everything you've seen, don't close your eyes, as your life flashes through your eyes
Don't close your eyes, help is on the way, don't weep another restless night, the mental abuse will stop in time, don't weep another broken night
-Jon Powder-
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Kings
Coming down from this endless nightmare
Of sleepless nights
No medication has been spent
On a careless gent such as thee
Take me back to my home city of Edmonton
Where I was born un-forgiven
The sins were as real as the blood in my veins
Guilty for being alive
And alive so real and careless
Coming down from the medication I was pumped with
Take me to the green fields of Ireland
Where I can connect with life once again
America can't kill me
Since these shoes were built to last a lifetime
I won't ever make it alive
But it doesn't hurt to try
Give it a shot
Shoot me down from the sky, these wings
Were wrecked when I fell from grace
Take me down, take me away
Take me back to where I was born
But home never lasts, the feeling always goes
The heart never sleeps restful and revamped
Wanderlust with yearnings to get away from here
Take me to the punk streets of London
Where I can connect with the music and anarchy
Can a home really last forever
When the wood has decayed and crumbled beneath my feet
Can kings live inside this world, where dreams are killed in combat
World wide webbed and downloaded and hollow
Take me back to where I was once reborn
If it still stands tall and real and full of life
-Jon Powder-
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Anarchy Hymns
So you want to tell the world to go to hell
And die in an atomic bomb explosion
But think first and think again
Don't light the fuse just yet my friend
And I know I piss you off
But get use to it because you need an asshole in your life
Other than your own
Sitting there, keeping your rage inside
Looking at the computer screen
Planning out your next scheme
So you say I'm lacking creativity and artistic anarchy
But think again my friend
Sit back and think again
And I know you fell in love with yourself
But think fast
That kind of LOVE always ends up in tragedy
Masturbation can get repetitive and no one wants
Sore wrists and sore fingers
And I know you fell in love with yourself
But think fast
And get that hand out of your pants
And stop looking in the mirror
So you want to tell the world to go to hell
And die in an atomic bomb implosion
But think fast and think twice
Don't light the torch and spread your disease
Sit back and think of your creativity
Sit back and sing some anarchy hymns
Just like me
Because anarchy is an art
That isn't dead
-Jon Powder-
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Of what was and is
twenty three have past
I am no longer adolecent
now I am a miserable
twenty-something
living in elegies of my past self
in ways of ADD and Heartache
of what was my past self
is now a new cold shiver
covered in bug bites
and vampire kisses....
Love is all but the same
hiding in the shadows of my mind
love is...
Of what was and is
will always be
and always could be?
Poetic Brilliance or Complaining Endlessly?
it's both the same to me
in a sense
it's both the same
I'm the same
forever the same...
Of what was and is
is always the same thing to me....
-Jon Powder-
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The Fred Phelps Song
Hold me down, I can't escape the dirty slang that you throw at me, I need to be punished, parody? Call the cops because this house is going to get louder, the lights will blind the night. you know I've been bad bad bad, it's time for parody, you see I've been bad to the core of my inner being, I need your self-centered touch, I've been crawling and been down on my knees serving the jobs you can't admit you enjoy, hold me down, because I need to get this demon off my chest
Laid to rest, come on now, get up and dance, on the grave of Fred Phelps, his people don't what they be doin' so just get up and show them what we are and what we mean, god hates fags, we hate you too, come on now, get up and shake your ass, and rock out with your cock, Because you know his rotting corpse is held up by strings, and he's going to break dance because it is time for parody
Hold me down, you know I've been bad bad bad, with a break-beat sound, and just like Peaches will he be sucking on my titties because those people who followed him blindly, are still blind and they don't who they be dealing with, I got pride but not enough to lose my way, I still fight, are you feelin' this, because I've been bad bad bad, hold me down, because I need to get this angel off my chest
Look at all these screaming monkeys, holding signs, ruining lives, how much shit can these monkeys throw when they reek of constipation and repetitive condemnation
Fred Phelps, did you know him, did you feel him, his values were too high and his sales went down the drain, I'm a fag and yea I know what those people do, but I'm not scared of what they be and what they do, maybe they should get a sex life and walk away because that pink triangle hasn't been ripped from my heart just yet, so come on, hold me down, it's what they expect, the superficial sins they make
You know I've been bad bad bad
-Jon Powder-
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I'm fucking hot : an essay by Dandy Jon
I'm fucking hot, therefore I am more important than you
I've spent my whole life dealing with image, what I should look like
Wearing clothes when I was younger that I thought would make me look 'cool'
In the eyes of strangers, at school, in the mall, on the bus, in public all around
Always thinking that someone was looking at me and judging me
The idea of body image makes me sick, I will not and I repeat WILL NOT
Ever live up to anyone's expectations or idealisms or perfections
If I get fat, I get fat, if I'm skinny, I'm fucking skinny
Big deal, the idea of trying to win someone's approval based on your appearance is ridiculous
I'm not perfect, and I don't intend to ever try and be perfect
Perfection is for the shallow
Perfection is for idiots, insecure and hollow
The idea of making money because your 'beautiful' is idiocy at one of its best
Modelling is prostitution, commercials and magazine ads are just rape
'I'm hot, I got the looks and body for it'
So what? I got good hands for jerking off, should I become a fluffer?
No matter how you think about it, its harmful, you may not notice it at first
But give it time, the insecurity will sink in sooner or later
The average woman has to deal with weight problems everyday, because
Someone called them 'fat' or 'ugly', so they resort to plastic surgery
And other kinds of mutilation and manipulations.
Men go through these kinds of problems too, no one ever notices though
Dick jobs and tit jobs, apparently the bigger the better
The average man, straight and gay have to live up to penile image
If your not cut and past 8 inches, your not worth knowing
Or loving
If you have foreskin, your a freak
I never look at a guy because of their dick size, its stupid
If your cut or uncut, I honestly don't care
that's not why I'm in love with a person, size doesn't matter to me
It shouldn't matter
Shape, size, circumcised
None of that should matter if you love someone
But sadly, it's a part of body image
And it kills some men and boys
Because of what someone said to them in the locker room, or in bed
Or wherever
And there is no love if the size isn't past 8 inches and there is no love if your tits
Aren't big like a bleach blonde porn slut
The more bigger you are, the more loved you are
And if you cant accept how someone looks than you need help
Body image shouldn't have to be a problem
Love is dead, because my body doesn't look like Brad Pitt's or because
She doesn't look like Jenna Jameson
The cash flow is pretty fucking high when it comes to selling body image
I'm hot, therefore I am more important than you
I'm hot, therefore I deserve to be in the magazines
I'm hot, therefore I deserve to be loved for who I'm not
The average gay man has to live up to body perfection, circuit boys and young gay boys
Always starving themselves, if they don't look like a hot piece of ass
They think that they will die alone
Sure, some people work out because they love to, but sheesh, its not the world
Don't attempt to be something your not, prostitution is never the answer
Even if you don't see it from my perspective, step back and take a look at all
Of the men and women that make a living by showing off their body
Smile and the camera will love you
Show off your body and the camera will love you
Body image is corporate, body image is brainwashing
You may not see things from my perspective
But try and stop and just look at the system
Body image is a killer
The average woman deals with it
The average gay man deals with it
The average man deals with it
Body image, modelling, posing, beauty
Its corporate
It's a killer
Its prostitution
Its anorexia to most who can't take the abuse, so they hurt themselves by starving for perfection, most never recover from it
If you don't believe me
Read a playboy
Look at suicide girls
Look at suicide boys
Look at porn
Remember, some porn stars go out there and try to make it as actresses and actors
And porn stars are considered models, no matter how filthy
Or degrading they pose
Its modelling, and porn, just like modelling
Is very corporate
It's a part of the system
Even if its only for adults
And if you choose to give in to that part of the system
Than I feel sorry for you
You are no better than a prostitute, and your just as filthy, and I wont stand by you while you sell your soul for something cheap, its just wrong
and its not right
"...Oh, and I feel the same
I won't ever change
Not a jaded hair upon my head..."
Alexisonfire (Drunks, Lovers, Sinners and Saints)
-Jon Powder-
.
Opening Words
To know my life story is to think of churchbells,and how they would sound in these agnostic bones,cold shudder of a summer nights breeze,To know my life story is to think of these words and use your imagination
To know of me and my words,you must put your shallow thoughts aside and dwell into these caves,and follow the arrows that lead to my Temple of Misfit Toys,where I am the King of the Misfits,an outsider born,To know of me is to think of no ego,but a man who wishes not of sorrow,but of a love he could never reach
To know of this torment,you must place me in a box,poke at my skin,see what I bleed out,I am of skin and bones and a few scattered brains,a homosexual at times,a broken man at times,a mountain of masks that cannot fit,a mountain of daggers that cannot penetrate,I am of these lost emotions,and as ugly as I may seem,I am not as ugly as the fakes who tell the lies we hear on the TV
and in these opening words,I'll speak to you and everyone I knew so well,I'll open my heart and show you my wounds,for I am broken at times and I am hurt deeply by those who came for me,only to leave me behind
in the ruins ,with the other fallen ones
To know of my life story,you will hear a cry off in the distance,is it mine?
Only time will tell....
-Jon Powder-
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