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She gets so sick of crying

By:	AndYouLoveHer
Mood:	in love
Date:	07/24/2008 14:37:35
Music:	Mary J. Blige "Not Gon' Cry"

And even though she was sitting in the seat next to him, he felt her in everything, in the steering wheel, in the gas pedal, in the blinking of his eye, in the clearing of his throat. every move he made was about hanging on to her.-Mitch Albom

I remember sitting in my car, singing out loud to the cd, both of us. we stopped driving, we just sat, and sang together. it brought peace to me. and i miss that feeling.

absoultely everything during the day comes back to him. like right now. im sitting in my room. and all i can think about is how he said he would come visit me. and how ill have my own room when i move back down to the house. and how we could have our own space then.

every moment sitting on the couch with him and all my friends. and him not being ashamed to just hold me in front of them. not caring what they thought.

all the miles we would drive to see each other. all the time. how he would drive just to take care of me when i was sick. how i let him down bc i was scared to do the same for him...

when he'd look me in the eyes and tell me how much i mean to him. and how cute he thought i was

all the funny phrases that he says. and how we laughed constantly when around each other.

i have no desire to let go of him.

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ah. sometimes when i wash my face, i just cant stop scrubbing. its like im trying to get rid of the tear stains that arent actually there, but only i can see them.

can i gripe about something off subject. bc sometimes my heart can only let out so much at a time. - i cant stand martha stewart. she bothers me so much. she is so fake, and so rude, and so controlling, and just horrible to watch. and i cant even understand why anyone actually enjoys watching her show.

I think Beyonce is overrated.

and I feel bad for Britney Spears.

i love Baby Soft cologne. and I just ran out today, and it makes me sad.

i can never wear enough make up.

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I have to start packing to move back down to school. That is the most exciting feeling for me. and im looking for 2-3 more roommates. so let me know if you are interested.

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something happened yesterday, that i cant really talk about on here. but it woke me up. and it really bothered me.

- im excited to move back down, as i hve previously mentioned. im excited for my new roommates. but curiuos as to wht the house will look like with all new people and all their stuff in it. and what are we going to have left? i guess the idea of new things is sort of exciting for me. but im also a little worried.

when working at target, it becomes obvious to me how childish i really am. and not in the bad way, but the fact that there is still very much a 6 year old little girl living inside of me. who still gets excited over princesses and my little ponies. who loves the idea of getting new crayons and markers. who wants to run through the isles nd push every button on every tioy, bc she cant justify buying a toy and bringing it home only to play iwth it for about 5 minutes before shes bored. because 5 minutes just isnt enough to justify spending as much as toys cost these days. but the thrill is still there. what kind of mom am i going to be?

im scared bc i dont have my headshots taken, or done. i don thave the money to get them done, and my prents are nervous about spending the money to get them done without the promise that ill ever make any money in the field. plus, i hve nothing for a resume, and this is what i want to do! and how do i go about getting started when i feel like everyone is kinda like... "well... i dunno."

my dream is to be on the big screen. funny i know right. impossible. well mybe it IS possible. maybe i just need to find at least ONE PERSON who believes in me. i thought i had.... but i dont know where he went to now....

so i got so angry at 2 of my coworkers, one being a sort of "boss" over me. they pretty much made fun of me for my beliefs in Jesus. and id idnt realize that thats what they were doing until after they walked away, and then iw as so angry that i didnt say anything to them that my blood was boiling all day. why do i have to be so slow to pick up on things. now they think im a really STUPID Christian, on top of everything else. growl!

so im sick of disappointment. argh. this post is all over the place.

i hate having to be responsible. i hate it. i dont want to be an adult anymore. i dont. and i turn 21 in a couple weeks, and whats that even going to change. nothing really. just make me older. i dont drink so thats not even exciting for anyone thinking im crazy right now. you know i dont drink.

i miss all my freinds. i miss ronnie. i want him to come back. bc ya know what. ronnie never let me down. he never did. and he alwys took care of me. and stood up for me when someone hurt me. and he alwys understood exactly where i was coming from.

ah. i hate people who cheat! i know i whine about this a lot. but maybe someone someday will read this, and feel like dirt because of it. and maybe theri guilt will rip their insides so apart that they decide to be DECENT HUMAN BEINGS.

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Michelle Williams - So Glad lyricsArtist: Michelle Williams lyricsAlbum: Heart To YoursYear: 2002Title: So Glad

(feat. Mary Mary])

So glad to be here,Breathin', walkin', talkin', yeah.Livin', lovin' you yeah, is all I wanna do.Gotta lift my hands every time I get a chance.Gotta let you know I love livin' this life with you.

(Michelle)Wonder why I smile,Why I'm so happy nowCause it wasn't always like this,Yeah it took me a while.....To figure out that you were all that I need.And nothing has been better than the love you've shownme. Yeah!

So glad to be here,Breathin', walkin', talkin', yeah.Livin', lovin' you yeah, is all I wanna do. (all Iwant to do!)Gotta lift my hands every time I get a chance.Gotta let you know I love livin' this life with you.

(Mary Mary)It could have been me sleeping on the street,With no food to eat.But I thank God, that ain't my story.So I won't complain,I won't sing no sad songs.Cause everything ain't right, but everything aintwrong!

You've been good to me,Better than anyone could be.And i'm just livin, livin for the love of you.All I need you are, only you brought me this far.And I can't imagine life without you! (you! I'm soglad)

So glad to be here,Breathin', walkin', talkin', yeah.Livin', lovin' you yeah, is all I wanna do. (all Iwant to do)Gotta lift my hands every time I get a chance.Gotta let you know I love livin' this life with you.So glad to be here,Breathin', walkin', talkin', yeah.Livin', lovin' you yeah, is all I wanna do.Gotta lift my hands every time I get a chance.Gotta let you know I love livin' this life with you.

So glad to be here,Breathin', walkin', talkin', yeah.Livin', lovin' you yeah, is all I wanna do.Gotta lift my hands every time I get a chance.Gotta let you know I love livin' this life with you[ So Glad Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

*THANK YOU JESUS, JUST LET ME FOCUS ON YOU*

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Maybe im all dried out now....maybe i just need him to hold me, and tell me that this has all been a bad dream.

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"We're the same. We're five years old. Still trying to change this mold. In the open air, I'm cold. No purpose, no reasons told. And while I'm waiting for something to say, I'm here in vain... I picked up this broken key, I'll love no one and let no one love me. I'll wait for morning before opened eyes. No one's crying not yet realized. And in the meantime I have nothing to say. I'm here in vain."

--------------Martha

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