My name is Angela and Im a welder. Im not that good at talking about myself, so Ill let some of my good friends tell you a bit about me:
"Angela is the kind of girl that any man would be lucky to have behind the wheel of his getaway car, at his back in a brawl, and on top of him in bed"
Ian
"Angela and I used to date back in the 60's. Well, we "swang", which is what "swingers" do. I would hide in the closet and make sweet love to myself while she had sex with the men she picked up at singles bars. It was an unhealthy relationship to say the least, but we remain friends to this day and we are partners in a tanning booth franchise that allows us to live like the Trumps."
Reverend Uncle Laffo Esq.
"Angela never got mad at me for hitting that grocery cart with her car when we left that bootie shake club in the ghetto that night. Maybe its because I never said anything when she hit my neighbors open car door as she sped through the neighborhood and knocked it clean off! One of the most memorable times we spent together was when we got that transvestite fired from the strip club in New Orleans! We kept insisting that it show us his/her penis and when finally he/she whipped it out to shut us the hell up, he/she got caught and subsequently sacked! Ill also never forget watching poor Ang getting hauled off to jail in the back of a paddy wagon while having erm...stuff...hidden in her bra! In retrospect, I cant believe were still alive!"
Nina
"So there I was at the crossroads. No woman would have me. Seems like they held a vote and the ruling was unanimous! Thankfully, undaunted by convention (But repulsed by the fact that I was over 19 years old) she taught me to masturbate. Sure, Ive still never been on a date, but with the money Ive saved from never once having to buy a woman dinner, Ive put a kidney shaped pool in the back of the meth lab...erm...trailer! Yes, trailer....Thanks Angela, I could ever have been this bitter without you, you've made all my dreams come true! (Except for the one about you and the duct tape and the Oxycontin drip, but well talk about that later!) REMEMBER FUCKERS. BE NICE! THIS BITCH IS MY FRIEND AND CHANCES ARE, YOURE NOT!"
Rotknee
"Why is the beautiful Angela angry? Ask some young fanatics! She is not! She is playing the welding! When Angela is not on the welder under many hot lights, you may see her in sexy clothes! A student of "bad ass" and "getting shit done" for many years, Angela has rocked hard with many good bands that make good sound in her earholes. Also many young people in the world loved her in her Jaguar! It is very hard to see her hands when she is playing like an explosion! She makes much joy as a silly penguin!"
Japanese reporter "Lopez"
toodles
